a dash of poetry, a pinch of quotes

Just thought I'd do a quick post on 'love' by sharing a few of my favourite poems and quotes.

Love at First Sight

They're both convinced

that a sudden passion joined them.

Such certainty is more beautiful,

but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

Since they'd never met before, they're sure

that there'd been nothing between them.

But what's the word from the streets, staircases, hallways--

perhaps they've passed by each other a million times?

I want to ask them

if they don't remember--

a moment face to face

in some revolving door?

perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?

a curt "wrong number"caught in the receiver?--

but I know the answer.

No, they don't remember.

They'd be amazed to hear

that Chance has been toying with them

now for years.

Not quite ready yet

to become their Destiny,

it pushed them close, drove them apart,

it barred their path,

stifling a laugh,

and then leaped aside.

There were signs and signals,

even if they couldn't read them yet.

Perhaps three years ago

or just last Tuesday

a certain leaf fluttered

from one shoulder to another?

Something was dropped and then picked up.

Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished

into childhood's thicket?

There were doorknobs and doorbells

where one touch had covered another

beforehand.

Suitcases checked and standing side by side.

One night. perhaps, the same dream,

grown hazy by morning.

Every beginning

is only a sequel, after all,

and the book of events

is always open halfway through

by Wislawa Szymborska

"It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning or frost from fire." - Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is shattered and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight, I can write the saddest lines. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one, I held her in my arms. I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too. How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines. To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her. And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her. The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance. My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Pablo Neruda (1904-73), "The Saddest Lines", translated from the Spanish by W.S. Merwin

"Love is a portion of the soul itself, and it is of the same nature as the celestial breathing of the atmosphere of paradise." - Victor Hugo (1802-1885) French Author, Lyric Poet, Dramatist

this is how it works

you're young until you're not

you love until you don't

you try until you can't

you laugh until you cry

you cry until you laugh

and everyone must breathe

until their dying breath

this is how it works

you peer inside yourself

you take the things you like

and try to love the things you took

and then you take that love you made

and stick it into some -

someone else's heart

pumping someone else's blood

and walking arm in arm

you hope it don't get harmed

but even if it does

you'll just do it all again

- Regina Spektor's 'On the Radio'

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa

April Fools!

A pinch and a punch for the first of the month!

As the saying goes, one is supposed to pinch someone, followed by a punch, whenever it's the first day of the month. But I don't even really understand it - I mean, is there a purpose? Is it for good luck? And it doesn't even rhyme in the first place!

But anyway - this first day of the month is 'special' because:

1) APRIL FOOLS DAY!

2) Officially April - the month before our final IB exams.

But let's not delve into school and IB just yet - my spring break isn't over! Hence, moving on, I had a thought today about the stuff that legends are made of. Personally I think they're downright awesome. I'm not much of a history buff but learning about legends and myths and its origins - it's a whirlwind of creativity, spookiness, and education! Or just entertaining, whichever.

So without further ado, the history of April Fool's Day in a nutshell:

(And loyal to my not-wanting-to-rewrite it nature, it is presented in the usual copy-and-paste format.)

"It has become tradition on the first of April to pull jokes of the harmless variety on those near and dear to us. We plot and we scheme, and often the yuks are funnier in our imaginings than how they play out in reality, but that doesn't stop us from sending the little kid in us out on a rampage. Even the most staid among us have been known to indulge in a practical joke or two, so beware of trusting anyone on that day.

How the custom of pranking on April 1 came about remains shrouded in mystery.

When the western world employed the Julian calendar, years began on March 25. Festivals marking the start of the New Year were celebrated on the first day of April because March 25 fell during the Holy Week. The adoption of the Gregorian calendar during the 1500s moved the New Year to January 1. According to the most widely-believed origin postulated for April Fool's Day, those who could be tricked into believing April 1 was still the proper day to celebrate the New Year earned the sobriquet of April fools. To this end, French peasants would unexpectedly drop in on neighbors on that day in an effort to confuse them into thinking they were receiving a New Year's call. Out of that one jape supposedly grew the tradition of testing the patience of family and friends.

But that's only one theory. Others are:

- The timing of this day of pranks seems to be related to the arrival of spring, when nature "fools" mankind with fickle weather, according to the Encyclopedia of Religion and the Encyclopedia Britannica.

- The Country Diary of Garden Lore, which chronicles the goings-on in an English garden, says that April Fool's Day "is thought to commemorate the fruitless mission of the rook (the European crow), who was sent out in search of land from Noah's flood-encircled ark."

- Others theorize it may have something to do with the Vernal Equinox.

- Some think to tie in with the Romans' end-of-winter celebration, Hilaria, and the end of the Celtic new year festival.

Wherever and whenever the custom began, it has since evolved its own lore and set of unofficial rules. Superstition has it that the pranking period expires at noon on the 1st of April and any jokes attempted after that time will call bad luck down onto the head of the perpetrator. Additionally, those who fail to respond with good humor to tricks played upon them are said to attract bad luck to themselves.

Not all superstitions about the day are negative, though - fellas fooled by a pretty girl are said to be fated to end up married to her, or at least enjoy a healthy friendship with the lass."

Taken from http://www.snopes.com/holidays/aprilfools/origins.asp

Oh and here's the top 100 april fool's jokes of all time, if you're interested!

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/

Happy Fooling! (:

Hold Your Horses - 70 Million

So, this doesn't really have much to do with eating, praying, or loving - but I think it's spunky, kickass-y, and it looks like it took a lot of work! I've never heard of the band before Hold Your Horses, but I find them pretty great and I sure love their paradoxical major-art-pieces-spoofs. How many famous art pieces can you recognize?!

70 Million by Hold Your Horses ! from L'Ogre on Vimeo.

I got it off Madame Lamb's blog: http://www.madamelamb.com/ and just had to share it as well - you might wanna check out some of her other stuff while you're at it.

The Comfort of Dessert

Sometimes, when you're not having a great day, all you need is a little cupcake (or two!) to make it better.

My parents arrived home from grocery shopping and bought me these two adorable cupcakes!

They're from 'bijoux'- just one of the chains of their food company. Other branches include 'bisou' and 'bijou'.

I'm guilty. I'm definitely one of those girls who find that dessert - whether it be a scoop of ice cream, a piece of chocolate, a cupcake or heck, even 'bubble tea' - it will make life just a little easier.

To me, dessert is one of the simplest pleasures in life. Just having 'something sweet' will immediately perk up my day and not just my taste-buds. Think about it. If you're a worry-wart about the nutritional facts about dessert, just screw that for a moment. Think about the last time you had a spoonful of ice cream or the soft texture of chocolate. Weren't you happy, even just for a moment? I live for that exact moment when the sweetness hits your tongue, making you forget about anything on your mind, forcing you to surrender to all that sugary goodness. Of course there are also the biological reasons for it, such as the release of endorphins that chocolate, for example, triggers. But to me having something sweet is just a simple pleasure in life. And if you don't like dessert well, I pity you. ):

"Eat, Pray, Love" - The Book

I started to read 'Eat, Pray, Love' again - and I don't know why I ever managed to put it down!

The author, Elizabeth Gilbert.

If you still haven't heard about this book or this, you've either been,

a) living under a rock.

b) too busy with work and I.B.

c) completely deserted from the literary world.

Either way, it's this new phenomenon that has been touching the lives of both women and men for years. [It's also the theme of my entire blog.] In short, it's the true story of a woman who searches for happiness.

The blurb at the back of the book says this:

It's 3 a.m. and Elizabeth Gilbert is sobbing on the bathroom floor. She's in her thirties, she has a husband, a house, they're trying for a baby - and she doesn't want any of it. A bitter divorce and a turbulent love affair later, she emerges battered and bewildered and realises it is time to pursue her own journey in search of three things she has been missing: pleasure, devotion, and balance. So she travels to Rome, where she learns Italian from handsome, brown-eyed identical twins and gains twenty-five pounds; to an ashram in India, where she finds that enlightenment entails getting up in the middle of the night to scrub the temple floor and to Bali where a toothless medicine man or indeterminate age offers her a new path to peace: simply sit still and smile. And slowly happiness begins to creep up on her.

In other words, she travels to Italy (for pure pleasure of the language, the rich and exquisite taste of food, and to bask in the beauty of the culture), India (to pursue her spiritual well-being by spending her time in an ashram, and to find enlightenment and a closeness to God), and Indonesia (to balance the two - pleasure and devotion - and perhaps find love on the way.)

It's honestly a beautiful book and definitely one of my favourites.

Here are some quotes that need to be shared:

"In desperate love, it's always like this, isn't it? In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place." Page 19.

This one's a funny one - she's describing the sad (yet sometimes true!) pathetic symptoms of what happens when we get too infatuated with our partners - and she does it by describing drug addiction!

"Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to admit that you wanted - an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with the hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but who now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore - despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbours just to have that thing even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you're someone he's never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is, you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You're a pathetic mess, unrecognizable even to your own eyes.

So that's it. You have now reach infatuation's final destination - the complete and merciless devaluation of self." pg. 21.

Here, she explains faith..

"Devotion is diligence without assurance. Faith is a way of saying, "Yes, I pre-accept the terms of the universe and I embrace in advance what I am presently incapable of understanding." There's a reason we refer to "leaps of faith" - because the decision to consent to any notion of divinity is a mighty jump from the rational over to the unknowable, and I don't care how diligently scholars of every religion will try to sit you down with their stacks of books and prove to you through scripture that their faith is indeed rational; it isn't. If faith were rational, it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity." pg. 184.

In this quote, Gilbert explains True Yoga.

"The Yogic path is about disentangling the built-in glitches of the human condition, which I'm going to over-simply define here as the heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment. Different schools of thought over the centuries have found different explanations for man's apparently inherently flawed state. Taoists call it imbalance, Buddhism calls it ignorance, Islam blames our misery on rebellion against God, and the Judeo-Christian tradition attributes all our suffering to original sin. Freudians say that unhappiness is the inevitable result of the clash between our natural drives and civilization's needs. (As my friend Deborah the psychologist explains it: "Desire is the design flaw.") The Yogis, however, say that human discontentment is a simple case of mistaken identity. We're miserable because we think that we are mere individuals, alone with our fears and flaws and resentments and mortality. We wrongly believe that our limited little egos constitute our whole entire nature. We have failed to recognize our deeper divine character. We don't realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme Self who is eternally at peace. That supreme Self is our true identity, universal and divine." pg. 128

Here, Gilbert visits Ketut Liyer, an elder medicine man in Indonesia for the first time. She asks him the question, "I want to have a lasting experience of God. Sometimes I feel like I understand the divinity of this world, but then I lose it because I get distracted by my petty desires and fears. I want to be with God all the time. But I don't want to be a monk, or totally give up worldly pleasures. I guess what I want to learn is how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote myself to God." And this is Ketut's response.

"Ketut said he could answer my question with a picture. He showed me a sketch he'd drawn once during meditation. It was an androgynous human figure, standing up, hands clasped in prayer. But this figure had four legs, and no head. Where the head should have been, there was only a wild foliage of ferns and flowers. There was a small, smiling face drawn over the heart. 'To find the balance you want' Ketut spoke through his translator, 'this is what you must become. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know God.'" pg. 28.

"Dante writes that God is not merely a blinding vision of glorious light, but that He is, most of all, l'amor che move il sole e l'altre stelle... 'The love that moves the sun and the other stars.'" pg. 48.

In this quote, Gilbert is expressing the situation with her lover David, which happened right after her divorce with her husband. It was a complicated relationship, where they were truly in love with each other but yet made each other so unhappy - just thought it shed some good insight.. and it reminded me of a certain somebody. (:

"It is this happiness, I suppose (which is really a few months old by now), that gets me to thinking upon my return to Rome that I need to do something about David. That maybe it's time for us to end our story forever. We were already separated, that was official, but there was still a window of hope left open that perhaps someday (maybe after my travels, maybe after a year apart) we could give things another try. We loved each other. That was never the question. It's just that we couldn't figure out how to stop making each other desperately, shriekingly, soul-punishingly miserable." pg. 85.

And finally, in this part of the book, she and David end things (via email though) and I just thought that his final message was really sweet.

"He agrees that yes, it's time we really said good-bye forever. He's been thinking along the same lines himself, he says. He couldn't be more gracious in his response, and he shares his own feelings of loss and regret with that high tenderness he was sometimes so achingly capable of reaching. He hopes that I know how much he adores me, beyond even his ability to find words to express it. "But we are not what the other one needs," he says. Still, he is certain that I will find great love in my life someday. He's sure of it. After all, he says, "beauty attracts beauty."" pg. 89.

And this - this is just one of my absolute favourites. It perfectly describes what happens and how it feels like when anybody gets out of a relationship.

"It's the emotional recoil that kills you, the shock of stepping off the track of a conventional lifestyle and losing all the embracing comforts that keep so many people on that track forever." pg. 99.

I'm sure that most people knew this already - but she describes it so well. And so I suppose that the only way to really get over someone, to get over that overwhelming emotion, is to learn that it is okay to be off that track and not have that same routine with that partner. I guess it really is just a matter of time and getting used to..

In this part of the book, Gilbert is explaining to Richard from Texas about David, her former love, who she can't seem to get over. This was Richard's great response. (But the problem is solved later on in another awesome quote.)

""Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don't you see what happened? This guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching, I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that's just the beginning. You just got a taste of love. That's just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. Heck, you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It's your destiny. Don't laugh." "I'm not laughing." I was actually crying. "And please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate." "He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf-life."

And then he continues for a bit longer, until she says,

"But I love him." "So love him." "But I miss him." "So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. You're just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you'll really be alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she's really alone. But here's what you gotta understand. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot - a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in - God will rush in - and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed." pg. 157 - 158.

Truly one of my favourite chapters in the book...

And finally, a video that presents a good overview.

Kuya's 27th Birthday!

For his 27th birthday on the 10th of August, my brother and Lavinia took my parents and I to this reallygreat place to eat.

He described it as, "Somewhere none of us have ever been before." And gosh, was he right.

In a good way, though! I actually have a big liking for Indian food. And I don't just mean mamak-at-three-in-the-morning kind of Indian food, but actual and authentic Indian cuisine. My dad, I think, is the same. He's willing to try a lot of new things, even though both of my parents are in the rut of going to the same restaurants (it's chinese or japanese food every weekend - but I'm not complaining!) And so my point is that my dad was open to the restaurant my brother took me too. My mom, on the other hand, isn't too fond of Indian food, sadly to say. But my brother, Lavinia, and my dad still think she had quite a good time. Who wouldn't, anyway? The food was so good!

Presenting... PASSAGE THRU INDIA.
*sorry for the blurry photos!*



Authentic Indian cuisine!

When you walk in, (or even simply see the restaurant's entrance) you are immediately engulfed in beautiful art bragging off of the walls, beautiful mauve and luscious red-toned cloths draping from the sides, soothing music, ornaments and lamps glowing a smooth beige light, and the smell of good newly-cooked food.

My brother and Lavinia already ordered for us, while my parents and I were settling in our seats. You really do feel like you're in India when you're inside - except for all the chinese or mixed people sitting at the back. (Yes there's a wide variety of people who eat at that restaurant! And it's even been presented in a few of the newspapers - proudly framed and shown off on the walls.) But as we were getting settled, we got into a comfortable discussion about - what was it again?

I forgot the majority of it because I was so focused on the food..

But this was what we ordered - we had mango lassi (is that how you spell it?) but kept adding ice because it was just that sweet! And we shared three different types of naan (again, please forgive my spelling) as well as lamb with this nice mint sauce, butter chicken with this rich sauce, beef covered with yet another rich sauce, a nice mix of rice and some vegetables... and wow, I was so full by the end of it.

But then in the end, I discovered something new! At the end of some meals, indian restaurants (or restaurants in india as a better way to perhaps describe it) have this little - what is it, herb? - as a sort of mint to finish off the meal. Due to my bad memory, I forgot the name.. but it was a good experience! It tasted pretty sweet with a crunchy feel to it - at the same time, feeling cold but tangy. Not like any mint i've ever had! But I enjoyed everything that night. (:

Happy 27th Birthday, Kuya.

I love you very much brudda!

Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease

Someone I know, someone very lovely, has been unfortunately diagnosed with this disease...

Please, pray for her and the family - for the pain to subside, and for all our hearts to ease. She needs all the faith and happiness that we can get; and because she deserves it.

Some excerpts from the email I received.

"...diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD), a very rare disease occurring in only one out of a million people per year. The equivalent in animals is mad cow disease. I immediately googled CJD on my phone, and found that it is "a degenerative neurological (brain) disease and is incurable and invariably fatal" and the median duration till death is 4-6 months. The symptoms are rapidly progressive dementia, memory loss, personality changes, hallucinations, and physical problems like speech impairment, jerky movements, balance and motor dysfunction, rigid posture and seizures. Some people succumb after just a few weeks. My niece said that eventually the patient becomes a vegetable and lastly literally forgets how to breathe.

"But sometimes, she would establish eye contact and look pleadingly into my eyes, and all I could say was "you're ok, we love you and are praying for you". She also managed a wee smile when Sofia, her one and only grandchild, arrived and sang to her.

"We don't know how much she can still understand or hear, perhaps she is going in and out of consciousness. But we are comforted by the thought that she is spiritually very ready. One of the last activities she had before the symptoms came was a closed door retreat. She is also very close to Mama Mary, and she is Opus Dei."

God is the Author of Life, and we surrender to him.

"Winds of change are throwing wild and free.."

There is so much love in the world.

I can see it everyday; with the way my parents smile at each other, the way my family will pray for family members when they're sick, when my friends get texts from their boyfriends and they light up, the way my friends and I will laugh over each other's silly nonsense, the way love is portrayed in movies and literature... and even the way my cat will stroke against my legs after I've fed him.

Most of us don't even realise all the love we're exposed to or even really witness. It is so simple though. All one has to do is ignore all the hatred, negativity, or awfulness that comes around. And to see - really see - all the love that electrifies between people, animals, and objects. I swear it'll make you feel better. Which is why I'm going to do that from now on.

I guess that what I'm really trying to get at is the fact that people make such a big deal out of everything - and it is incredibly stupid (not to mention annoying). Of course I've done so as well, countless of times, but I always find myself regretting it afterwards. And people (again, I too am guilty of this) ridiculously complain or worry too much about the littlest things. Isn't this stupid? Firstly, complaining a little is okay - pain on your body, worried about a test, etc. - but there's a proper time to do so. Or rather, proper things to complain or worry about. And most people complain for the wrong things..

Most people, especially my schoolmates, see me as this really calm person. I won't freak out over tests or exams, if I have a really strict teacher next I won't complain, or if I do something that could get me in trouble, I won't be all girly or whiny about it. [Life is about risks anyway!] Not that I haven't been freaked out over school things, of course I have, it's just that I will rarely do this. The reason why I do this is because I know that I'm going to be okay. I am a blessed person; extremely fortunate to have such sweet family members, phenomenal friends, a beautiful home, a full education.. the list goes on. Luckily i've realised this, and I'm fully aware that there is so much beauty and wonder in the world, too much to waste time being angry and upset. In short, I'm forunate enough to not have any close people/relatives suffering from a fatal disease, to have all my limbs, to not have to worry about food everyday, and to just have so much love from people around me.

I think people should realise just how fortunate they are - and just how happy they can be. (We all deserve to be happy, anyway.)

Have you ever walked around a shopping mall, and noticed that only two in about every 50 people you see will be smiling? It's a random question I know - but it's just something I've realised. And not just in malls even, practically anywhere you go you'll see such sullen, serious faces. Why is this? Especially when there's so much good in the world, absolutely so much love and happiness? I think it's because, like I said earlier, we focus too much on the bad stuff, and never enough on the good..

So please, anyone who might be reading this - do yourself a favor, (and me, as well as the rest of the world for that matter) and try to focus on all the love and joy that surrounds you, which you were blessed enough to have in the first place. And don't ever forget to realise just how happy you deserve to be.

Life's too short to be all namby-pamby anyway.

Josh Kelley and Triple A

I just discovered yet another incredible artist..
JOSH KELLEY

[And it took me this long?!]

(aka Katherine Heigl's husband. Poor guy, being labelled like that a lot... Ah well.)

This is the picture of his most recent album, Special Company. He's also had several other albums such as Just Say the Word, Almost Honest, and For the Ride Home. And they've been around for years - and i've only just been exposed to his music?! Edghad - this is another one of those self-realisation moments, where I've just learned that I must expose myself more to music and different artists. Although i'll admit that I do have a certain style with the music I listen to - mainly, mellow-ish lovey dovey, guitar + nice voice kind of thing. (But don't get me wrong! I've got a broad sense of music style, I just prefer listening to this kind of music at this kind of time!) Let me explain:

Firstly, thank you thankkk yoouu Kristi for sending me the songs! It wasn't only until now though, that I went on YouTube and actually listened to them, watched the videos, and searched up the lyrics. And okay yeah, I'm aware that everyone in this world always somehow gets the song to relate to themselves, (and that's kinnddda the point of music right? and why we like certain songs so much? because we want it to be about us..? agh. selfish, egotistical people we are. tsk tsk.) But i'll admit that I find some of these songs related to me - or rather, how I feel about a certain someone...

Of course I love all my friends and family so much. But it's just that it's 4:32am as I type this, just AAA. (Yes, triple A again!) And if any of you forgot what it means well, that's okay. Perhaps it's better off that you don't know what it means. (:

And so here I am being quite emo, thinking about everything that just happened tonight. So what I'm doing now is a little soul-soothing with some good music. Yesiree! Just me, some good music, and the soft twinkling lights against the assuring night sky... oh, and not forgetting the recap of the fighting, shouting, crying, insults, sorrys, swearings, and hurtful words (but a few forgiving words too!) that keep replaying over and over and over again in my mind.. Oh gosh, I better not be going crazy for real..!

But all is good now in irisbautistaland.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: IF YOU ARE ANYONE BUT MARK, PLEASE SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE POST AND AHEAD TO THE MUSIC PART. SKIP THIS WHOLE HEARTPOURING-EMO-HOPEFUL-LOVEYDOVEY-MESSAGE INTENDED FOR MARK. THANK YOU. (: **

With the big chance that you are reading this M, I really am sorry. These past few days have really been quite crazy, huh? For the both of us, too. I didn't mean to act the way I have been lately - overbearing, crazyjealous, and just plain stupid.. please forgive me? And I know you didn't mean those hurtful words, nor to let out your anger on me. (Though I do deserve it.) But - sigh - it really is just us two reacting to each other. We kind of make it worse haha! I think what we need is both of us to just be more calm and not let the other person get to us so much. We're way too easily affected.. But especially me. And i'm sorry for this! I do mean it when I say, however, when I say that I will change and become better. I'm committed to this. And perhaps this really is a phase. This whole attitude of mine. Perhaps it's the stress of school, and the being-so-unproductive-with-work-and-body kind of thing. Or perhaps it's just the estrogen.

But either way, you and I both know that we can become much better people. I know I can be anyway - and I plan on becoming better for not only you and my friends, but also for myself. It's what you, me, and everyone else deserves. A more pleasant me. (:

And so, I really do know that things will get better though. It always does. I have complete faith in this. I love you so very much my darling.

** OKAY, you can stop skipping now. The music part starts here! **

So these are the three favourite songs of mine (so far) along with their videos.

This one's called, Amazing. And I think it's so cute how the couple fights *eh hem* throughout the video, but then it becomes all romantic and sweet. I also love how Kelley's songs aren't too emotionally sad, but rather upbeat and romantic in it's happy and carefree way. Behh, just see for yourself.

His songs can really console you during not-so-easy-relationship times. It does for me, anyway. (:

"You paint a picture on the wall

Cause you've got a lot to tell me

But you don't think you could say it better oh baby

You're bringing up times I can't recall

And I'm sure they made your point

But I just can't seem to remember yeah

And I know you've got the feeling

And I can't say I'm agreeing

With your topic of conversation

So just listen to the reasons

And the hints I've been giving

To the thoughts of my imagination

So come on let me see

I say baby you are amazing

I want to let you see

That you are everything and more to me

I will let you be I will I will

Cause I saw you walking down the hall

And I had a lot to tell you

But I didn't think you could say it better oh baby

You're good at makin me feel so small

And I know you made your point

But I just don't want to remember yeah

And I know you've got the feelin

And I cant say I'm agreeing

with your topic of conversation

So just listen to the reasons

And the hints that I've been giving

To the thoughts of my imagination

Cause I'm dancing around

In your world of play

I'm takin my time to make sure you stay

I would give my life to make it okay yeah

So come on let me see..."

This next one is "Only You" and apparently, this is how he and Katherine met - while shooting this video. Aww..

So be sure to check out the rest of his songs - he really is talented. Especially with his 'To Make You Feel My Love' cover; (written by Bob Dylan, and also sung by Adele and Garth Brooks!) this one shows off his soothing voice!

And because the lyrics (and the song, sang by any artist) is so good, I've decided to end the post with it...

"When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love."

Steal Me a Paradise

I was rummaging through some old stuff when I came across this art book, where the poet Julie P. Lingan fused with the artist Ibrahim Hussein to create a love-inspired-poetry + poetry-inspired-art book. My mom had bought it years ago as she was a friend of the writer, Julie Lingan. I remember discovering this fascinating book years back and falling in love with the pretty words and black scribbles that filled the pages. The book, called 'Steal Me a Paradise' is based on the last poem, and albeit the best one at that. I admire her other poems such as 'Casablanca Dying' and 'We Must Have Been Lovers in a Previous Life', but 'Steal Me a Paradise' I adore the most. And Ibrahim Hussein's art isn't bad either! He's got an obvious style (well, it might have changed over the years but in this book, it's strictly black, white, + grey, and all scribbly lines as if his pen was being mind-controlled by a tornado) and although I'm not describing it very well, his art is fascinating.

This poem is also the one that inspired me to write, 'oh all the things i'd do for you'.

steal me a paradise

-

steal me a paradise

where we can unlock long-standing dreams

unfurl the velvet of hidden longings

imprisoned by blades of reality and time

-

steal me a paradise

far away from the world of merciless flames

where the only fire we know

is the passion we burn for each other

-

steal me a paradise

where the sky is ruled not by monsters

but by lovers with hearts that fly

in a haven beyond the reach

of control towers and F16s

-

steal me a paradise

where there are no earthshaking quakes

except our very own tremors

we create from love, not hate

-

steal me a paradise

where we can kiss the brink of dawn

and catch the moonlight

as it drips with silverdust

that now and then caress our bodies

lying on the shore

-

steal me a paradise

where you and i can run naked

as the sky on a cloudless blue morning

and frolic like the fish

making love under the sea

-

steal me a paradise

on the edge of spring

and i'll giftwrap the sea for you

with the echoes of an endless summer...