Iris Bautista

Early Mornings and Muddled Thoughts

2012-01-31T03:35:00.005+08:00

I think I'm in trouble.

(But not in the alarmingly life-threatening sense.)

I'm in trouble because I'm falling in love with words again. Reading, writing, and Scrabble-ing them. I know I've been absent from this blog for a while, despite receiving an e-mail every week about the visits I get for this blog and how long each one lasts. Oh how guilty I get when I read that I actually had people skim my blog for more than 30 seconds... they sure read some outdated and hormone-fueled posts. But still, thank you to those who check my blog out!

Even though I know that a majority if not all of them are those poor souls who accidentally stumbled onto my blog, probably by clicking the 'Next Blog>>' button at the top of the page...

But I digress.

After nearly a year-long absence (I only wrote one post last year... is that neglect or what!) I thought I would perhaps open up my world of blogging again by posting up an early-morning hazed muddle of my thoughts. (It is 3:46AM at present.) And I choose to write about words.

So lately I've been trying to read a lot and also get my nerd on by playing lots of scrabble and anagram word games. (They're so fun, try Anagram Magic for all you word geeks out there!) I can't get over how amazing a book feels in your hand, on a hot summer day. How amazing it feels to smell the pages and just skim your hand over all the fancy words and beautifully versed sentences that spill out stories wilder than your imagination. There's just something about a set of well-selected words coupled with others to form a story that really get to me. Even doing the physical act of writing is a little miracle of its own. The pen in your hand, the generous instrument allowing you to spill the words out from your mind and appear like magic on that smooth, paper canvas, it can really have a calming effect on you. I think that's why diary-keepers and illustrators get so hooked onto writing. It's just one of the many facets that you can

And I consider myself so lucky to have access to so many books and inspiring quotes.

Have you ever read something so beautiful that it made you want to cry? Or perhaps gave you a pang of jealousy, making you wish that you could articulate your thoughts that well?
I have, actually. A lot of them are the quotes and excerpts from previous posts.

So, to recap, I'm in trouble here (or rather, you guys are in trouble) because along with my renewed love of words and reading, come the desire to practice my writing... And this blog is one of the perfect places to do just that.

A Lover's Discourse, Again.

2012-01-30T01:29:00.003+08:00

The Absent One

absence / absence

Any episode of language which stages the absence of the loved object - whatever its cause and its duration - and which tends to transform this absence into an ordeal of abandonment.

"Now, absence can exist only as a consequence of the other: it is the other who leaves, it is I who remain. The other is in a condition of perpetual departure, of journeying; ... I - I who love, by converse vocation, am sedentary, motionless, at hand, in expectation, nailed to the spot, in suspense - like a package in some forgotten corner of a railway station. Amorous absence functions in a single direction, expressed by the one who stays, never by the one who leaves: an always present I is constituted only by confrontation with an always absent you...

In great haste, I reconstitute a memory, a confusion. A (classic) word comes from the body, which expresses the emotion of absence: to sigh: "to sigh for the bodily presence": the two halves of the androgyne sighs for each other, as if each breath, being incomplete, sought to mingle with the other: the image of the embrace, in that it melts the two images into a single one: in amorous absence, I am, sadly, an unglued image that dries, yellows, shrivels."

- Roland Barthes

A Lover's Discourse

2011-04-08T20:24:00.017+08:00

Dark Glasses

cacher / to hide

A deliberative figure: the amorous subject wonders, not whether he should declare his love to the loved being (this is not a figure of avowal), but to what degree he should conceal the turbulences of his passion: his desires, his distresses; in short, his excesses (in Racinian language: his fureur).

"I am caught up in a double discourse, from which I cannot escape. On the one hand, I tell myself: suppose the other, by some arrangement of his own structure, needed my questioning? Then wouldn't I be justified in abandoning myself to the literal expression, the lyrical utterance of my “passion”? Are not excess and madness my truth, my strength? And if this is true, this strength ultimately prevailed? But on the other hand, I tell myself: the signs of this passion run the risk of smothering the other. Then should I not, precisely because of my love, hide from the other how much I love him? I see the other with a double vision: sometimes as object, sometimes as subject; I hesitate between tyranny and oblation. Thus I doom myself to blackmail: if I love the other, I am forced to seek his happiness; but then I can only do myself harm: a trap: I am condemned to be a saint or a monster: unable to be the one, unwilling to be the other: hence I tergiversate: I show my passion a little...

...yet to hide a passion totally (or even to hide, more simply, its excess) is inconceivable: not because the human subject is too weak, but because passion is in essence made to be seen: the hiding must be seen: I want you to know that I am hiding something from you, that is the active paradox I must resolve: at one and the same time it must be known and not known: I want you to know that I don’t want to show my feelings: that is the message I address to the other."

- Roland Barthes

The Chronicles of a Bohemian Teenager - Pt. 2

2010-08-26T21:20:00.010+08:00

So it's been approximately 3-4 months since I've last written on here. Oops! For the small amount of readers I did have, sorry. (:

But anyway a lot has happened since Mother's Day!

Let me put it in an organized list.

- Graduated High School.

(with a full IB Diploma - I survived!)

- Applied to one uni. (And for security reasons, will NOT be displaying it heh heh)

- Got accepted!

- Mad rush for necessary documents/visa.

- Got on a plane, said goodbye to friends and family. :(

- Rented an apartment with my sis.

- Started uni life.

And now i'm here, procrastinating from my essays and lab reports!

Quite a lot for three months! But that's how it goes I suppose. Life is just a big ticking clock and we're caught up in a whirlwind of events. But either way I've made it and I wouldn't change a thing. Well, perhaps that I'd take all my loved ones with me here...

Overall I've decided to try blogging again since writing is a + ('big plus' if you didn't understand haha) to my career objective of photojournalist? Or perhaps just anything relating art and writing/journalism - or even the media?! Ah that's the thing with my degree - Communication Studies - so many opportunities await you. At least I've still got three years to figure it out. (:

Thus it all comes down to this - practicing writing regularly with [attempted] ease whilst still trying to keep things interesting...

And seeing where it goes from here.

*Oh and in the case of copyright infringement, the title of this blog post is from the title of a song by Get Cape. Wear Cape. Fly. (:

HAPPY MAMA'S DAY!

2010-05-10T20:33:00.005+08:00

I know it's a day late but I know that I simply must have a blog post dedicated to my Momma (;

I'll keep it short and sweet for the internet however, as all my lovey-dovey stuff goes to the card I'm making her (:

Happy Mother's Day Mama! <3

Thank you for everything you have done, I am so blessed to have a mother like you who is so full of beauty and love. I truly appreciate every sacrifice you have made and all the strength you have always given me.

I love you.

The heart of a mother is a deep abyss at the bottom of which you will always find forgiveness. ~Honoré de Balzac

LaneBryant Commercial

2010-05-01T23:47:00.004+08:00

I just came across this really awesome commercial that featured not only new products from Lane Bryant but also this extremely gorgeous female model. Check it out!

And according to YouTube, this is a BANNED COMMERCIAL.

What the heck right?!

So of course the ravenous YouTube comment-ers immediately lash out on America/corporate America and the stupid preference for skinny models and women who are essentially not 'real' women due to their small size and stature. Then they go on to talking about not blaming the media, and then to targeting a bit of Victoria Secret, and then it goes on to a whole other load of stuff that is just BLEUGH.

It's so simple. It's a commercial for a line of product that is for women with larger assets. And I think it's brilliant! I didn't think it should have been banned. It's not even showing that much nudity anyway. Maybe it's just the raw sexiness of it? Perhaps it's the provocative lure of her movement..? For whichever the reason, I feel that it's just another ordinary commercial promoting a product. Only this time, it's a more realistic woman. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Personally, this whole topic of beauty and weight issues is just riff-raff and totally unnecessary. It's true what this video is saying: beauty is skin deep. Or, another famous saying, "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder." Essentially, it's a fact that everyone has a different idea of what is beautiful.

And in my case, I find this model extremely beautiful! [She looks a little like Eva Mendez too!]

And I love the idea of having a great brand/product for all. types. of. women!

a dash of poetry, a pinch of quotes

2010-04-07T22:15:00.011+08:00

Just thought I'd do a quick post on 'love' by sharing a few of my favourite poems and quotes.

Love at First Sight

They're both convinced

that a sudden passion joined them.

Such certainty is more beautiful,

but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

Since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
But what's the word from the streets, staircases, hallways--
perhaps they've passed by each other a million times?

I want to ask them
if they don't remember--
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in a crowd?
a curt "wrong number"caught in the receiver?--
but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember.

They'd be amazed to hear
that Chance has been toying with them
now for years.

Not quite ready yet
to become their Destiny,
it pushed them close, drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.

There were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
Perhaps three years ago
or just last Tuesday
a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
Something was dropped and then picked up.
Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?

There were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another
beforehand.
Suitcases checked and standing side by side.
One night. perhaps, the same dream,
grown hazy by morning.

Every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through

by Wislawa Szymborska

"It would degrade me to marry Heathcliff now; so he shall never know how I love him: and that, not because he's handsome, Nelly, but because he's more myself than I am. Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same; and Linton's is as different as a moonbeam from lightning or frost from fire." - Emily Bronte's Wuthering Heights

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is shattered and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight, I can write the saddest lines. I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one, I held her in my arms. I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too. How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines. To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without her. And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her. The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance. My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

Pablo Neruda (1904-73), "The Saddest Lines", translated from the Spanish by W.S. Merwin

"Love is a portion of the soul itself, and it is of the same nature as the celestial breathing of the atmosphere of paradise." - Victor Hugo (1802-1885) French Author, Lyric Poet, Dramatist

this is how it works

you're young until you're not

you love until you don't

you try until you can't

you laugh until you cry

you cry until you laugh

and everyone must breathe

until their dying breath

this is how it works

you peer inside yourself

you take the things you like

and try to love the things you took

and then you take that love you made

and stick it into some -

someone else's heart

pumping someone else's blood

and walking arm in arm

you hope it don't get harmed

but even if it does

you'll just do it all again

- Regina Spektor's 'On the Radio'

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa

April Fools!

2010-04-01T21:57:00.009+08:00

A pinch and a punch for the first of the month!

As the saying goes, one is supposed to pinch someone, followed by a punch, whenever it's the first day of the month. But I don't even really understand it - I mean, is there a purpose? Is it for good luck? And it doesn't even rhyme in the first place!

But anyway - this first day of the month is 'special' because:

1) APRIL FOOLS DAY!

2) Officially April - the month before our final IB exams.

But let's not delve into school and IB just yet - my spring break isn't over! Hence, moving on, I had a thought today about the stuff that legends are made of. Personally I think they're downright awesome. I'm not much of a history buff but learning about legends and myths and its origins - it's a whirlwind of creativity, spookiness, and education! Or just entertaining, whichever.

So without further ado, the history of April Fool's Day in a nutshell:

(And loyal to my not-wanting-to-rewrite it nature, it is presented in the usual copy-and-paste format.)

"It has become tradition on the first of April to pull jokes of the harmless variety on those near and dear to us. We plot and we scheme, and often the yuks are funnier in our imaginings than how they play out in reality, but that doesn't stop us from sending the little kid in us out on a rampage. Even the most staid among us have been known to indulge in a practical joke or two, so beware of trusting anyone on that day.

How the custom of pranking on April 1 came about remains shrouded in mystery.

When the western world employed the Julian calendar, years began on March 25. Festivals marking the start of the New Year were celebrated on the first day of April because March 25 fell during the Holy Week. The adoption of the Gregorian calendar during the 1500s moved the New Year to January 1. According to the most widely-believed origin postulated for April Fool's Day, those who could be tricked into believing April 1 was still the proper day to celebrate the New Year earned the sobriquet of April fools. To this end, French peasants would unexpectedly drop in on neighbors on that day in an effort to confuse them into thinking they were receiving a New Year's call. Out of that one jape supposedly grew the tradition of testing the patience of family and friends.

But that's only one theory. Others are:

- The timing of this day of pranks seems to be related to the arrival of spring, when nature "fools" mankind with fickle weather, according to the Encyclopedia of Religion and the Encyclopedia Britannica.

- The Country Diary of Garden Lore, which chronicles the goings-on in an English garden, says that April Fool's Day "is thought to commemorate the fruitless mission of the rook (the European crow), who was sent out in search of land from Noah's flood-encircled ark."

- Others theorize it may have something to do with the Vernal Equinox.

- Some think to tie in with the Romans' end-of-winter celebration, Hilaria, and the end of the Celtic new year festival.

Wherever and whenever the custom began, it has since evolved its own lore and set of unofficial rules. Superstition has it that the pranking period expires at noon on the 1st of April and any jokes attempted after that time will call bad luck down onto the head of the perpetrator. Additionally, those who fail to respond with good humor to tricks played upon them are said to attract bad luck to themselves.

Not all superstitions about the day are negative, though - fellas fooled by a pretty girl are said to be fated to end up married to her, or at least enjoy a healthy friendship with the lass."

Taken from http://www.snopes.com/holidays/aprilfools/origins.asp

Oh and here's the top 100 april fool's jokes of all time, if you're interested!

http://www.museumofhoaxes.com/hoax/aprilfool/

Happy Fooling! (:

Hold Your Horses - 70 Million

2010-04-01T21:31:00.009+08:00

So, this doesn't really have much to do with eating, praying, or loving - but I think it's spunky, kickass-y, and it looks like it took a lot of work! I've never heard of the band before Hold Your Horses, but I find them pretty great and I sure love their paradoxical major-art-pieces-spoofs. How many famous art pieces can you recognize?!

70 Million by Hold Your Horses ! from L'Ogre on Vimeo.

I got it off Madame Lamb's blog: http://www.madamelamb.com/ and just had to share it as well - you might wanna check out some of her other stuff while you're at it.

The Comfort of Dessert

2010-03-21T15:09:00.008+08:00

Sometimes, when you're not having a great day, all you need is a little cupcake (or two!) to make it better.

My parents arrived home from grocery shopping and bought me these two adorable cupcakes!

They're from 'bijoux'- just one of the chains of their food company. Other branches include 'bisou' and 'bijou'.

I'm guilty. I'm definitely one of those girls who find that dessert - whether it be a scoop of ice cream, a piece of chocolate, a cupcake or heck, even 'bubble tea' - it will make life just a little easier.

To me, dessert is one of the simplest pleasures in life. Just having 'something sweet' will immediately perk up my day and not just my taste-buds. Think about it. If you're a worry-wart about the nutritional facts about dessert, just screw that for a moment. Think about the last time you had a spoonful of ice cream or the soft texture of chocolate. Weren't you happy, even just for a moment? I live for that exact moment when the sweetness hits your tongue, making you forget about anything on your mind, forcing you to surrender to all that sugary goodness. Of course there are also the biological reasons for it, such as the release of endorphins that chocolate, for example, triggers. But to me having something sweet is just a simple pleasure in life. And if you don't like dessert well, I pity you. ):

"Eat, Pray, Love" - The Book

2009-10-24T19:30:00.011+08:00

I started to read 'Eat, Pray, Love' again - and I don't know why I ever managed to put it down!

The author, Elizabeth Gilbert.

If you still haven't heard about this book or this, you've either been,

a) living under a rock.

b) too busy with work and I.B.

c) completely deserted from the literary world.

Either way, it's this new phenomenon that has been touching the lives of both women and men for years. [It's also the theme of my entire blog.] In short, it's the true story of a woman who searches for happiness.

The blurb at the back of the book says this:

It's 3 a.m. and Elizabeth Gilbert is sobbing on the bathroom floor. She's in her thirties, she has a husband, a house, they're trying for a baby - and she doesn't want any of it. A bitter divorce and a turbulent love affair later, she emerges battered and bewildered and realises it is time to pursue her own journey in search of three things she has been missing: pleasure, devotion, and balance. So she travels to Rome, where she learns Italian from handsome, brown-eyed identical twins and gains twenty-five pounds; to an ashram in India, where she finds that enlightenment entails getting up in the middle of the night to scrub the temple floor and to Bali where a toothless medicine man or indeterminate age offers her a new path to peace: simply sit still and smile. And slowly happiness begins to creep up on her.

In other words, she travels to Italy (for pure pleasure of the language, the rich and exquisite taste of food, and to bask in the beauty of the culture), India (to pursue her spiritual well-being by spending her time in an ashram, and to find enlightenment and a closeness to God), and Indonesia (to balance the two - pleasure and devotion - and perhaps find love on the way.)

It's honestly a beautiful book and definitely one of my favourites.

Here are some quotes that need to be shared:

"In desperate love, it's always like this, isn't it? In desperate love, we always invent the characters of our partners, demanding that they be what we need of them, and then feeling devastated when they refuse to perform the role we created in the first place." Page 19.

This one's a funny one - she's describing the sad (yet sometimes true!) pathetic symptoms of what happens when we get too infatuated with our partners - and she does it by describing drug addiction!

"Addiction is the hallmark of every infatuation-based love story. It all begins when the object of your adoration bestows upon you a heady, hallucinogenic dose of something you never even dared to admit that you wanted - an emotional speedball, perhaps, of thunderous love and roiling excitement. Soon you start craving that intense attention, with the hungry obsession of any junkie. When the drug is withheld, you promptly turn sick, crazy and depleted (not to mention resentful of the dealer who encouraged this addiction in the first place but who now refuses to pony up the good stuff anymore - despite the fact that you know he has it hidden somewhere, goddamn it, because he used to give it to you for free). Next stage finds you skinny and shaking in a corner, certain only that you would sell your soul or rob your neighbours just to have that thing even one more time. Meanwhile, the object of your adoration has now become repulsed by you. He looks at you like you're someone he's never met before, much less someone he once loved with high passion. The irony is, you can hardly blame him. I mean, check yourself out. You're a pathetic mess, unrecognizable even to your own eyes.

So that's it. You have now reach infatuation's final destination - the complete and merciless devaluation of self." pg. 21.

Here, she explains faith..

"Devotion is diligence without assurance. Faith is a way of saying, "Yes, I pre-accept the terms of the universe and I embrace in advance what I am presently incapable of understanding." There's a reason we refer to "leaps of faith" - because the decision to consent to any notion of divinity is a mighty jump from the rational over to the unknowable, and I don't care how diligently scholars of every religion will try to sit you down with their stacks of books and prove to you through scripture that their faith is indeed rational; it isn't. If faith were rational, it wouldn't be - by definition - faith. Faith is belief in what you cannot see or prove or touch. Faith is walking face-first and full-speed into the dark. If we truly knew all the answers in advance as to the meaning of life and the nature of God and the destiny of our souls, our belief would not be a leap of faith and it would not be a courageous act of humanity." pg. 184.

In this quote, Gilbert explains True Yoga.

"The Yogic path is about disentangling the built-in glitches of the human condition, which I'm going to over-simply define here as the heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment. Different schools of thought over the centuries have found different explanations for man's apparently inherently flawed state. Taoists call it imbalance, Buddhism calls it ignorance, Islam blames our misery on rebellion against God, and the Judeo-Christian tradition attributes all our suffering to original sin. Freudians say that unhappiness is the inevitable result of the clash between our natural drives and civilization's needs. (As my friend Deborah the psychologist explains it: "Desire is the design flaw.") The Yogis, however, say that human discontentment is a simple case of mistaken identity. We're miserable because we think that we are mere individuals, alone with our fears and flaws and resentments and mortality. We wrongly believe that our limited little egos constitute our whole entire nature. We have failed to recognize our deeper divine character. We don't realize that, somewhere within us all, there does exist a supreme Self who is eternally at peace. That supreme Self is our true identity, universal and divine." pg. 128

Here, Gilbert visits Ketut Liyer, an elder medicine man in Indonesia for the first time. She asks him the question, "I want to have a lasting experience of God. Sometimes I feel like I understand the divinity of this world, but then I lose it because I get distracted by my petty desires and fears. I want to be with God all the time. But I don't want to be a monk, or totally give up worldly pleasures. I guess what I want to learn is how to live in this world and enjoy its delights, but also devote myself to God." And this is Ketut's response.

"Ketut said he could answer my question with a picture. He showed me a sketch he'd drawn once during meditation. It was an androgynous human figure, standing up, hands clasped in prayer. But this figure had four legs, and no head. Where the head should have been, there was only a wild foliage of ferns and flowers. There was a small, smiling face drawn over the heart. 'To find the balance you want' Ketut spoke through his translator, 'this is what you must become. You must keep your feet grounded so firmly on the earth that it's like you have four legs, instead of two. That way, you can stay in the world. But you must stop looking at the world through your head. You must look through your heart, instead. That way, you will know God.'" pg. 28.

"Dante writes that God is not merely a blinding vision of glorious light, but that He is, most of all, l'amor che move il sole e l'altre stelle... 'The love that moves the sun and the other stars.'" pg. 48.

In this quote, Gilbert is expressing the situation with her lover David, which happened right after her divorce with her husband. It was a complicated relationship, where they were truly in love with each other but yet made each other so unhappy - just thought it shed some good insight.. and it reminded me of a certain somebody. (:

"It is this happiness, I suppose (which is really a few months old by now), that gets me to thinking upon my return to Rome that I need to do something about David. That maybe it's time for us to end our story forever. We were already separated, that was official, but there was still a window of hope left open that perhaps someday (maybe after my travels, maybe after a year apart) we could give things another try. We loved each other. That was never the question. It's just that we couldn't figure out how to stop making each other desperately, shriekingly, soul-punishingly miserable." pg. 85.

And finally, in this part of the book, she and David end things (via email though) and I just thought that his final message was really sweet.

"He agrees that yes, it's time we really said good-bye forever. He's been thinking along the same lines himself, he says. He couldn't be more gracious in his response, and he shares his own feelings of loss and regret with that high tenderness he was sometimes so achingly capable of reaching. He hopes that I know how much he adores me, beyond even his ability to find words to express it. "But we are not what the other one needs," he says. Still, he is certain that I will find great love in my life someday. He's sure of it. After all, he says, "beauty attracts beauty."" pg. 89.

And this - this is just one of my absolute favourites. It perfectly describes what happens and how it feels like when anybody gets out of a relationship.

"It's the emotional recoil that kills you, the shock of stepping off the track of a conventional lifestyle and losing all the embracing comforts that keep so many people on that track forever." pg. 99.

I'm sure that most people knew this already - but she describes it so well. And so I suppose that the only way to really get over someone, to get over that overwhelming emotion, is to learn that it is okay to be off that track and not have that same routine with that partner. I guess it really is just a matter of time and getting used to..

In this part of the book, Gilbert is explaining to Richard from Texas about David, her former love, who she can't seem to get over. This was Richard's great response. (But the problem is solved later on in another awesome quote.)

""Big deal. So you fell in love with someone. Don't you see what happened? This guy touched a place in your heart deeper than you thought you were capable of reaching, I mean you got zapped, kiddo. But that love you felt, that's just the beginning. You just got a taste of love. That's just limited little rinky-dink mortal love. Wait till you see how much more deeply you can love than that. Heck, you have the capacity to someday love the whole world. It's your destiny. Don't laugh." "I'm not laughing." I was actually crying. "And please don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously believed David was my soul mate." "He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that's holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf-life."

And then he continues for a bit longer, until she says,

"But I love him." "So love him." "But I miss him." "So miss him. Send him some love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. You're just afraid to let go of the last bits of David because then you'll really be alone, and Liz Gilbert is scared to death of what will happen if she's really alone. But here's what you gotta understand. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you're using right now to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum there, an open spot - a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in - God will rush in - and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed." pg. 157 - 158.

Truly one of my favourite chapters in the book...

And finally, a video that presents a good overview.

Kuya's 27th Birthday!

2009-08-27T08:43:00.018+08:00

For his 27th birthday on the 10th of August, my brother and Lavinia took my parents and I to this reallygreat place to eat.

He described it as, "Somewhere none of us have ever been before." And gosh, was he right.

In a good way, though! I actually have a big liking for Indian food. And I don't just mean mamak-at-three-in-the-morning kind of Indian food, but actual and authentic Indian cuisine. My dad, I think, is the same. He's willing to try a lot of new things, even though both of my parents are in the rut of going to the same restaurants (it's chinese or japanese food every weekend - but I'm not complaining!) And so my point is that my dad was open to the restaurant my brother took me too. My mom, on the other hand, isn't too fond of Indian food, sadly to say. But my brother, Lavinia, and my dad still think she had quite a good time. Who wouldn't, anyway? The food was so good!

Presenting... PASSAGE THRU INDIA.
*sorry for the blurry photos!*

Authentic Indian cuisine!

When you walk in, (or even simply see the restaurant's entrance) you are immediately engulfed in beautiful art bragging off of the walls, beautiful mauve and luscious red-toned cloths draping from the sides, soothing music, ornaments and lamps glowing a smooth beige light, and the smell of good newly-cooked food.

My brother and Lavinia already ordered for us, while my parents and I were settling in our seats. You really do feel like you're in India when you're inside - except for all the chinese or mixed people sitting at the back. (Yes there's a wide variety of people who eat at that restaurant! And it's even been presented in a few of the newspapers - proudly framed and shown off on the walls.) But as we were getting settled, we got into a comfortable discussion about - what was it again?

I forgot the majority of it because I was so focused on the food..

But this was what we ordered - we had mango lassi (is that how you spell it?) but kept adding ice because it was just that sweet! And we shared three different types of naan (again, please forgive my spelling) as well as lamb with this nice mint sauce, butter chicken with this rich sauce, beef covered with yet another rich sauce, a nice mix of rice and some vegetables... and wow, I was so full by the end of it.

But then in the end, I discovered something new! At the end of some meals, indian restaurants (or restaurants in india as a better way to perhaps describe it) have this little - what is it, herb? - as a sort of mint to finish off the meal. Due to my bad memory, I forgot the name.. but it was a good experience! It tasted pretty sweet with a crunchy feel to it - at the same time, feeling cold but tangy. Not like any mint i've ever had! But I enjoyed everything that night. (:

Happy 27th Birthday, Kuya.

I love you very much brudda!

Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease

2009-08-17T09:29:00.005+08:00

Someone I know, someone very lovely, has been unfortunately diagnosed with this disease...

Please, pray for her and the family - for the pain to subside, and for all our hearts to ease. She needs all the faith and happiness that we can get; and because she deserves it.

Some excerpts from the email I received.

"...diagnosed with Creutzfeldt-Jakob Disease (CJD), a very rare disease occurring in only one out of a million people per year. The equivalent in animals is mad cow disease. I immediately googled CJD on my phone, and found that it is "a degenerative neurological (brain) disease and is incurable and invariably fatal" and the median duration till death is 4-6 months. The symptoms are rapidly progressive dementia, memory loss, personality changes, hallucinations, and physical problems like speech impairment, jerky movements, balance and motor dysfunction, rigid posture and seizures. Some people succumb after just a few weeks. My niece said that eventually the patient becomes a vegetable and lastly literally forgets how to breathe.

"But sometimes, she would establish eye contact and look pleadingly into my eyes, and all I could say was "you're ok, we love you and are praying for you". She also managed a wee smile when Sofia, her one and only grandchild, arrived and sang to her.

"We don't know how much she can still understand or hear, perhaps she is going in and out of consciousness. But we are comforted by the thought that she is spiritually very ready. One of the last activities she had before the symptoms came was a closed door retreat. She is also very close to Mama Mary, and she is Opus Dei."

God is the Author of Life, and we surrender to him.

"Winds of change are throwing wild and free.."

2009-08-14T17:17:00.009+08:00

There is so much love in the world.

I can see it everyday; with the way my parents smile at each other, the way my family will pray for family members when they're sick, when my friends get texts from their boyfriends and they light up, the way my friends and I will laugh over each other's silly nonsense, the way love is portrayed in movies and literature... and even the way my cat will stroke against my legs after I've fed him.

Most of us don't even realise all the love we're exposed to or even really witness. It is so simple though. All one has to do is ignore all the hatred, negativity, or awfulness that comes around. And to see - really see - all the love that electrifies between people, animals, and objects. I swear it'll make you feel better. Which is why I'm going to do that from now on.

I guess that what I'm really trying to get at is the fact that people make such a big deal out of everything - and it is incredibly stupid (not to mention annoying). Of course I've done so as well, countless of times, but I always find myself regretting it afterwards. And people (again, I too am guilty of this) ridiculously complain or worry too much about the littlest things. Isn't this stupid? Firstly, complaining a little is okay - pain on your body, worried about a test, etc. - but there's a proper time to do so. Or rather, proper things to complain or worry about. And most people complain for the wrong things..

Most people, especially my schoolmates, see me as this really calm person. I won't freak out over tests or exams, if I have a really strict teacher next I won't complain, or if I do something that could get me in trouble, I won't be all girly or whiny about it. [Life is about risks anyway!] Not that I haven't been freaked out over school things, of course I have, it's just that I will rarely do this. The reason why I do this is because I know that I'm going to be okay. I am a blessed person; extremely fortunate to have such sweet family members, phenomenal friends, a beautiful home, a full education.. the list goes on. Luckily i've realised this, and I'm fully aware that there is so much beauty and wonder in the world, too much to waste time being angry and upset. In short, I'm forunate enough to not have any close people/relatives suffering from a fatal disease, to have all my limbs, to not have to worry about food everyday, and to just have so much love from people around me.

I think people should realise just how fortunate they are - and just how happy they can be. (We all deserve to be happy, anyway.)

Have you ever walked around a shopping mall, and noticed that only two in about every 50 people you see will be smiling? It's a random question I know - but it's just something I've realised. And not just in malls even, practically anywhere you go you'll see such sullen, serious faces. Why is this? Especially when there's so much good in the world, absolutely so much love and happiness? I think it's because, like I said earlier, we focus too much on the bad stuff, and never enough on the good..

So please, anyone who might be reading this - do yourself a favor, (and me, as well as the rest of the world for that matter) and try to focus on all the love and joy that surrounds you, which you were blessed enough to have in the first place. And don't ever forget to realise just how happy you deserve to be.

Life's too short to be all namby-pamby anyway.

Josh Kelley and Triple A

2009-07-31T03:50:00.011+08:00

I just discovered yet another incredible artist..
JOSH KELLEY

[And it took me this long?!]

(aka Katherine Heigl's husband. Poor guy, being labelled like that a lot... Ah well.)

This is the picture of his most recent album, Special Company. He's also had several other albums such as Just Say the Word, Almost Honest, and For the Ride Home. And they've been around for years - and i've only just been exposed to his music?! Edghad - this is another one of those self-realisation moments, where I've just learned that I must expose myself more to music and different artists. Although i'll admit that I do have a certain style with the music I listen to - mainly, mellow-ish lovey dovey, guitar + nice voice kind of thing. (But don't get me wrong! I've got a broad sense of music style, I just prefer listening to this kind of music at this kind of time!) Let me explain:

Firstly, thank you thankkk yoouu Kristi for sending me the songs! It wasn't only until now though, that I went on YouTube and actually listened to them, watched the videos, and searched up the lyrics. And okay yeah, I'm aware that everyone in this world always somehow gets the song to relate to themselves, (and that's kinnddda the point of music right? and why we like certain songs so much? because we want it to be about us..? agh. selfish, egotistical people we are. tsk tsk.) But i'll admit that I find some of these songs related to me - or rather, how I feel about a certain someone...

Of course I love all my friends and family so much. But it's just that it's 4:32am as I type this, just AAA. (Yes, triple A again!) And if any of you forgot what it means well, that's okay. Perhaps it's better off that you don't know what it means. (:

And so here I am being quite emo, thinking about everything that just happened tonight. So what I'm doing now is a little soul-soothing with some good music. Yesiree! Just me, some good music, and the soft twinkling lights against the assuring night sky... oh, and not forgetting the recap of the fighting, shouting, crying, insults, sorrys, swearings, and hurtful words (but a few forgiving words too!) that keep replaying over and over and over again in my mind.. Oh gosh, I better not be going crazy for real..!

But all is good now in irisbautistaland.

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: IF YOU ARE ANYONE BUT MARK, PLEASE SCROLL DOWN TO THE BOTTOM OF THE POST AND AHEAD TO THE MUSIC PART. SKIP THIS WHOLE HEARTPOURING-EMO-HOPEFUL-LOVEYDOVEY-MESSAGE INTENDED FOR MARK. THANK YOU. (: **

With the big chance that you are reading this M, I really am sorry. These past few days have really been quite crazy, huh? For the both of us, too. I didn't mean to act the way I have been lately - overbearing, crazyjealous, and just plain stupid.. please forgive me? And I know you didn't mean those hurtful words, nor to let out your anger on me. (Though I do deserve it.) But - sigh - it really is just us two reacting to each other. We kind of make it worse haha! I think what we need is both of us to just be more calm and not let the other person get to us so much. We're way too easily affected.. But especially me. And i'm sorry for this! I do mean it when I say, however, when I say that I will change and become better. I'm committed to this. And perhaps this really is a phase. This whole attitude of mine. Perhaps it's the stress of school, and the being-so-unproductive-with-work-and-body kind of thing. Or perhaps it's just the estrogen.

But either way, you and I both know that we can become much better people. I know I can be anyway - and I plan on becoming better for not only you and my friends, but also for myself. It's what you, me, and everyone else deserves. A more pleasant me. (:

And so, I really do know that things will get better though. It always does. I have complete faith in this. I love you so very much my darling.

** OKAY, you can stop skipping now. The music part starts here! **

So these are the three favourite songs of mine (so far) along with their videos.

This one's called, Amazing. And I think it's so cute how the couple fights *eh hem* throughout the video, but then it becomes all romantic and sweet. I also love how Kelley's songs aren't too emotionally sad, but rather upbeat and romantic in it's happy and carefree way. Behh, just see for yourself.

His songs can really console you during not-so-easy-relationship times. It does for me, anyway. (:

"You paint a picture on the wall

Cause you've got a lot to tell me

But you don't think you could say it better oh baby

You're bringing up times I can't recall

And I'm sure they made your point

But I just can't seem to remember yeah

And I know you've got the feeling

And I can't say I'm agreeing

With your topic of conversation

So just listen to the reasons

And the hints I've been giving

To the thoughts of my imagination

So come on let me see

I say baby you are amazing

I want to let you see

That you are everything and more to me

I will let you be I will I will

Cause I saw you walking down the hall

And I had a lot to tell you

But I didn't think you could say it better oh baby

You're good at makin me feel so small

And I know you made your point

But I just don't want to remember yeah

And I know you've got the feelin

And I cant say I'm agreeing

with your topic of conversation

So just listen to the reasons

And the hints that I've been giving

To the thoughts of my imagination

Cause I'm dancing around

In your world of play

I'm takin my time to make sure you stay

I would give my life to make it okay yeah

So come on let me see..."

This next one is "Only You" and apparently, this is how he and Katherine met - while shooting this video. Aww..

So be sure to check out the rest of his songs - he really is talented. Especially with his 'To Make You Feel My Love' cover; (written by Bob Dylan, and also sung by Adele and Garth Brooks!) this one shows off his soothing voice!

And because the lyrics (and the song, sang by any artist) is so good, I've decided to end the post with it...

"When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
I could offer you a warm embrace
To make you feel my love

When the evening shadows and the stars appear
And there is no one there to dry your tears
I could hold you for a million years
To make you feel my love

I know you haven't made your mind up yet
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met
No doubt in my mind where you belong

I'd go hungry I'd go black and blue
I'd go crawling down the avenue
No, there's nothing that I wouldn't do
To make you feel my love

The storms are raging on the rolling sea
And on the highway of regret though winds of change
Are throwing wild and free
You ain't seen nothing like me yet

I could make you happy
Make your dreams come true
Nothing that I wouldn't do
Go to the ends of the Earth for you
To make you feel my love."

Steal Me a Paradise

2009-07-23T21:31:00.005+08:00

I was rummaging through some old stuff when I came across this art book, where the poet Julie P. Lingan fused with the artist Ibrahim Hussein to create a love-inspired-poetry + poetry-inspired-art book. My mom had bought it years ago as she was a friend of the writer, Julie Lingan. I remember discovering this fascinating book years back and falling in love with the pretty words and black scribbles that filled the pages. The book, called 'Steal Me a Paradise' is based on the last poem, and albeit the best one at that. I admire her other poems such as 'Casablanca Dying' and 'We Must Have Been Lovers in a Previous Life', but 'Steal Me a Paradise' I adore the most. And Ibrahim Hussein's art isn't bad either! He's got an obvious style (well, it might have changed over the years but in this book, it's strictly black, white, + grey, and all scribbly lines as if his pen was being mind-controlled by a tornado) and although I'm not describing it very well, his art is fascinating.

This poem is also the one that inspired me to write, 'oh all the things i'd do for you'.

steal me a paradise

steal me a paradise

where we can unlock long-standing dreams

unfurl the velvet of hidden longings

imprisoned by blades of reality and time

steal me a paradise

far away from the world of merciless flames

where the only fire we know

is the passion we burn for each other

steal me a paradise

where the sky is ruled not by monsters

but by lovers with hearts that fly

in a haven beyond the reach

of control towers and F16s

steal me a paradise

where there are no earthshaking quakes

except our very own tremors

we create from love, not hate

steal me a paradise

where we can kiss the brink of dawn

and catch the moonlight

as it drips with silverdust

that now and then caress our bodies

lying on the shore

steal me a paradise

where you and i can run naked

as the sky on a cloudless blue morning

and frolic like the fish

making love under the sea

steal me a paradise

on the edge of spring

and i'll giftwrap the sea for you

with the echoes of an endless summer...

My Deepest Condolences

2009-07-12T20:59:00.005+08:00

Dear ''New York, The Big Apple'',

I know you probably won't ever read this, and I know that we haven't talked in a long time - but in the small chance that you come across this letter, please know that I've been thinking about you and your family. And I'm sorry, so very sorry about what happened.

Like the many other people who knew your father, I've been touched by his warm personality, his friendly nature, and his ability to make anyone feel very welcome. It's still unbelievable that he has passed away so early - and although I can't come close to how you may be feeling right now, please know that I feel for you and your family. All our hearts are heavy with this loss, and he will never be forgotten.

My family's thoughts and prayers are on you and your family. On behalf of my parents and my siblings, we send our deepest condolences and our deepest sympathy. We know you're going to be okay, and that your family will be closer than ever.
What affects us most is knowing that you were all the type of family who was close to each other; most families don't share that kind of beautiful relationship where they can talk about their day openly, make jokes with each other, and trust each other completely. But this and more is what you had and always will have no matter what. And although this knowledge affects us in a painful way, to know that a member of your family has passed, it is also extremely comforting in the sense that he had an endlessly loving family and beautiful relationships with each member.

So you and I aren't close anymore, but it doesn't mean that my family and I have stopped caring or have forgotten about your family. Once upon a time when we were very close and I was still meeting your parents, I remember being so nervous on the day I met your father. But the first time I met him he smiled, shook my hand, and we exchanged a few friendly words. And although this is a simple and traditional gesture, he made me feel so very welcome and gave me full assurance that everything was okay. Even my dad and brother has mentioned his very likable nature and friendly personality. Your whole family is just incredible, and I know that together you will all pull through this.

I also remember our families coincidentally meeting at Cherating that one holiday. As always your family treated us with such kindness, and at my family's meal times we would talk about all of your sweet personalities..

Your father taught me how to sail. I had never gone sailing before, and I was nervous to even be spending time with just you and your family. But being in the boat with your sister and your father, they were both so friendly and made me feel more at ease. He taught me how to hold the handles properly, which direction to go, how to tie/untie the ropes, and how to detect and follow the wind.

And to me, he was this kind of person. The kind to be helpful, teach you, and make you feel better. To me, he was the kind to follow the wind - and as he sails along with the wind, he provides comfort and a warm smile.
All my memories of him are only good ones (I could never imagine him not being amiable), and I feel that they demonstrate exactly how kind-hearted he was.

Again, I know I'm not someone who was very close to him, and it certainly isn't proper of me to write so much on a matter I don't have much to do with or know much about (I'm sorry). But I just wanted to express my sentiments and just try to let you and your family know that there are so many people who are here for you and care about you a lot - you are never alone and will always be in our thoughts, prayers, and our hearts.

With love and deep sympathy,
Iris.

"This day is remembered and quietly kept,
No words are needed, we shall never forget,
For those we love don't go away,
They walk beside us every day.
Unseen and unheard, but always near,
So loved, so missed, and so very dear."

Never Between You and Them Anyway

2009-06-29T21:38:00.007+08:00

I've wanted to share this for a long time,
to have a post solely dedicated to this beautiful quote by Mother Teresa.

This is my ultimate favourite quote, one that I discovered years ago and one that still affects me every time I read it. In just a few sentences, Mother Teresa had spoken such true and beautiful words that clearly explained the nature of humans - and how we must all be selfless and one with God. It demonstrates something that we are all accountable for: our tendency to resort to our anger or selfishness. All in all this quote gave so much insight since the very first time I read it. And it still continues to help remind me to become a better person.

"People are often unreasonable, illogical, and self-centered; Forgive them anyway. If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives; Be kind anyway. If you are successful you will win some false friends and true enemies; Succeed anyway. If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you; Be honest and frank anyway. What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight; Build anyway. If you find serenity and happiness, they may be jealous; Be happy anyway. The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow; Do good anyway. Give the world the best you have, and it may never be enough; Give the world the best you've got anyway. You see, in the final analysis, it is between you and God; It was never between you and them anyway." - Mother Teresa

"oh all the things i'd do for you"

2009-06-21T23:24:00.009+08:00

It was an unexpected discovery.
I feel that finding an old poem you wrote a few years back is quite phenomenal. Especially when you least expect it, or don't remember the poem at all. But there I was, just clearing out my old e-mail address account and found this poem that I sent to myself as a back-up draft in eighth-grade english class. I must admit, this is one poem i'm quite proud of - and to think, i wrote this about four years ago! [Eeghad - what happened to me now?!] Perhaps I shall start writing poetry again..

Note: Mr. Raisdana, (one of my favourite teachers of all time) was the eighth grade english teacher; he taught us well! One thing he taught us was that with poetry, you can play around with grammar and punctuation. He shared with us one class time that he liked having to not capitalise any letters - and that everything in lower case looked pretty great actually. I agree.

Here's the discovery:

oh all the things i'd do for you

i’ll create a life devoted to our time

in a succumb of velvet roses

expanding yet another story

to add to our collection

and I’ll spread the death of rose petals in the aisle

for you to step on in ever such a hurry

as the dawn slips away from yesterday

for better or for worse

and I’ll capture the clouds with my bare hands

for you to hold on to forever

when you feel like you could crumble

just stop as they sail by

and I’ll stand on a building and drop a thousand chocolate kisses

just to shower you with just a little bit of what you’re worth

waiting to create that pure fluxinhearted smile

which I could never let go

and I’ll spin my heart to reveal a portrait of you

because I’ve been saving its space for none other

whilst you hold my breath in a disguise

it will always be you

Message

2009-06-19T01:06:00.004+08:00

"..What I really need, what I'm really looking for, is not something I can articulate. It's nonverbal: I need love. I need the thing that happens when your brain turns off and your heart turns on.”
- Elizabeth Wurtzel.

I think this quote sums up exactly what I want from you.
I wish you would stop over-thinking. I wish you would turn your stupid brain off and your stupid worries and complaints, and memories from our bad past.

I wish you would open your heart, and open yourself to the very sweet possibilities of the future. I wish you wouldn't taint them with your negativity and doubts, and I wish you wouldn't give up on us.

Because you should never, ever give up on love.

Club Med Phuket

2009-06-17T00:21:00.006+08:00

I'm going to open the post with a very hilarious thing that my friend Onnella said in a three-way msn conversation between her, Liyana, and me.

onnella, ♥N forever. says:
iris isn't going to thai land.
where did you get that from
she's going to phuket
aha
tomorrow and coming saturday

Oh - my - goodness - dear child.
Onnella, sweety, I really wish you hadn't said this. Because now everyone can see just how adorable you are.. (or perhaps, how little informed you are of basic geography haha!). I'm doing this because I care for you, and not just to embarass you in the world wide web. I think you should learn more about countries or basic info on which places are where hehe - and you're in higher level IB geography! And you think Thailand is two words, and you thougt that Phuket was in Vietnam.. AND you thought Perth was part of GERMANY! Oh goodness, you make me laugh. (:
I'm almost too scared to find out what else you 'know' about our world.. But that's enough burning for now. (I lurve you Nella.) The point is, YES I AM GOING TO PHUKET, THAILAND. CLUB MED BABY!

Club Med Phuket

All I can simply offer is the generic and 'tourismatic' website video, for I have not yet experienced the wonder of Club Med in Phuket, Thailand.. But in my own words, I do know this. Every Club Med i've been to has been kickass and incredible. No, honestly! Whichever one you go to, you won't need to worry at all about having a good time. The room will be comfortable, the views 'incroyable!' The food will be delicious, the gentil organisers [or G.O.'s as they're more commonly known] are so good looking it's painful. Really.

So i'm faithful i'm going to have a great time, [as long as i'm with my family and we're happy, then of course it'll be woderful] and I can't wait to share it with you all when I get back. I'll be taking so many pictures that it will take 13049409384 hours for them to load and then put them on the posts. I'm just so terribly lucky to have this opportunity - to experience such a great vacation like this. Thank you Momee and Papee (;

Here's the video featuring Club Med Phuket - it's so cheesy but it definitely makes you want to be there!

What shocked me was that there was this other video on YouTube depicting how Club Med Phuket really was - dirty, old, and loud. It was appalling. It basically showed pictures of how dirty or bad-conditioned everything was in. A nasty encounter to reality compared to that of the sugar-coated touristic attraction on the website, as some people who commented had said. But, whatever it really is, Club Med is still awesome and i'm so excited to go. I won't let some video ruin my trip. I'm sure that it really isn't as bad as how they perceived it to be.*
I'll have to see for myself, right? You all [should] know me though, I try to look for the beauty in things - the good in the bad. So i'm definitely going to be focusing on all the good in the next four days, documenting and writing about them. You'll see. (:
*Alright so there is the chance that this will crash and burn and the whole trip will turn into a disaster. Or that I will find myself miserable, surrounded by such a dirty, loud, and bad-conditioned place. But I'm still going to stick to my positive attitude! Club Med Phuket here I come, whoo hoo!

OKAY. SHOUT OUTS. Here goes...
I hope everyone's been having a great summer! (And when I say everyone, I mean everyone.)

Liyana, i'm glad you had a great time in Alor Star and has come back safe n' sound. Can't wait to spend time with you when I get back! Until then, have a wonderful summer. You're one of the best people I know and I just want you to be happy okay? (:
Denise, i'm not sure when you'll be going to Philippines but good luck sorting all the Ateneo stuff out, and enjoy all the food! You don't get that here in KL! Have lots of fun my filipina/pinoy buddy. I'll see you soon.
Kristi, you're having the best time in Japan with Mao and i'm soo happy for you. Eat lots of real japanese food for me and shop a lot! Take pictures too, and see if you can find hot Turkish-Japanese drummer guys again haha! I miss you, take care of yourself okay?
Onnella, sweety, brush up on your geography! Haha but no really, I can't wait until I come back to celebrate your birthday with you. It's going to be so much fun, your plan seems great and I really hope that everyone can make it. Eh, they will. And we'll have a blast nonetheless. (: Just be happy okay? Don't die just cause Kristi and I aren't here bahahaha :P <3
Jan Nee, where have you been?! It's okay, we'll hang out soon. I hope you've been spending time with Carl, because it's our turn now. (: We'll take care of you sweety, your girlfriends. We're here for you no matter what.
Rick, ahh you're in South Africa now, and I just know you're having a blast. Hope your hairyness has provided good protection from bugs hehehe.
Nikesh, can't wait until you get back here to KL. Luckily i'll be back before you and Kristi so I won't miss anything.
Mark, darling, please get your cute egg-y head in school work! And try not to fall for any girls while i'm gone, okay? Haha. And I know you'll be fine. I'll miss you terribly, and I hope you know that I'll always be thinking of you. You're in my heart always, never forget that.
KY, you're on your way/in NY already, right? I'm going to read your blog in detail soon, but I do know that you're lucky you have free internet access haha. I hope you're having a fab time, take lots of pictures. I'll see you in a few weeks!
Amani, Shereen, May Zhee, Fiona, Khaili, and anyone else I might have missed.. I'm really sorry but I haven't been in touch with you lately. But I know you're all having a blast. What with Fiona and her theatre school in Canada, and May Zhee with her blog - we know what she's up to! But I really do hope that you're all having a great summer, and I miss you all so much. Hope you guys haven't been growing too much!
PHEW. Shout-outs done. (:

Until next time, everyone! I love you all.

Oren Lavie

2009-06-16T21:46:00.006+08:00

I just discovered a very under-discovered artist.

No, really. This man, OREN LAVIE, needs to be more popular! I haven't heard all his songs nor do I even have his CD... (Titled, The Opposite Side of the Sea) but thank goodness for YouTube. I've been watching his videos, his music videos are incredible. You HAVE to see, 'Her Morning Elegance'. With more than 6 million views to date, it's a stop motion animation with beautiful photography and a very creative concept. It also has a massive amount of subtle symbology that goes with his lyrics. It's a must watch video for anyone whose artsy and likes soft, emo-ish, smooth and mellow music.

It started when my sister came through my room, asking me if I had heard of Oren Lavie. The name never struck me before - I've heard of Lisa Lavie, another artist on YouTube, but I doubt they're related. So my sister showed me the music video for 'Her Morning Elegance' and I just found it to be so... cool! For lack of a better word, it really is cool. I mean, stop motion animation is incredibly time consuming. And the way the video is done, so subtle with creativity and with the right colour template.. it's so nice. It turned out beautifully.

Oren Lavie's voice is deep, soothing, and captivating. He's an artist that should definitely get more attention.

Alright so fine, my kind of music may not suit all your tastes, and you may not like Mr. Lavie as much as I do. But this is my blog and I can share whatever kind of things I like. (:

But check it out for yourself!

Blackouts

2009-06-15T22:54:00.004+08:00

Question:
If the world had a blackout, what would you do?

I ask this question because a blackout (or brownout, as the Filipino culture would call it) just occured in my apartment and in other surrounding condominiums as well. Not that I don't like blackouts per se, but I actually quite like them. Yes it certainly is hot and stuffy, not to mention a MAJOR ANNOYANCE if you were working on a computer-based assignment and did not save any of it just before the electricity went off... (Has that happened to countless of people or what?! Always save your work, everyone - I once wrote a couple hundred words of something and WHOOPS 'An unexpected error has occured' and so the document was lost or the page could not be reloaded. Bugger!) But in all fairness, one has to think of blackouts in another point of view; in a positive outlook, and not just an inconvenient happening. Let me demonstrate:

1. The first positive effect of blackouts is that IT SAVES ENERGY AND MONEY AS A WHOLE! Think about it - all that energy that our condos/houses could've been using right now, all the air conditioners, telephone lines, internet connections, fans, lights, televisions, radios... anything that could have been consuming energy and money is now saved for the power-outtage victims AND the world as a whole. Blackouts, to me, are blessings in disguise. It's a sure way to keep the energy consumation level low, as well as reminding us about just how important energy is to us, and how we shouldn't take it for granted. This leads me to my next point..

2. BLACKOUTS REMIND US OF JUST HOW IMPORTANT ENERGY IS. Okay, so it's not like we'll be worshipping Benjamin Franklin for discovering electricity, but it doesn't hurt to be a little more thankful and appreciative, no? Basically, I wish people would stop taking electricity for granted, and keep having this insane idea that it is an UNLIMITED SOURCE and that the world is FOREVER OKAY. Because newsflash - it is not. The world is precious, resources are limited, and even if the world can someday create some everlasting energy source with endless supply to provide the world with energy for centuries, a resource is nonetheless a resource and we really should take better care. We really should appreciate how the world runs and take more precaution in taking care of our world. We really should learn to preserve our resources, especially when our lives - everyone's lives - are truly dependent on them. Energy, although taken from numerous sources such as light, water, fuel, etc. is incredibly important and I wish people could just fathom the idea that the world is ...

3. Enough with the nagging about appreciating the world... and on to my next point. BLACKOUTS ENFORCE THE USE OF CANDLES AND GLOWY LIGHTS! And we all know how beautiful candles are, and how they can turn the ambiance of any place into a dim, well-lighted, and soothing place. Or gl0wy lights (as in, glow sticks etc.) are just plain cool. Also, having dinner lighted with nice candles, or the warm glow of a fire place.. that's beauty and romance right there.

4. Lastly, BLACKOUTS MAKE YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN MEDIEVAL TIMES. I mean come on, writing by candle light, or reading something with candles surrounding you.. it's perfect for acting like you're a damsel, some knight, or a monk writing in a secret dungeon.

Answer:
I would be thankful, and appreciate all that energy and money that has been saved. Honestly, think about it. If the entire world actually had a blackout for say, five minutes, imagine just how much energy and money would have been saved. Or perhaps money loss, since i'm certain that energy affects many businesses and corporations etc. But i'm going to be an environmentalist and see the positive effects that blackouts bring.. (;

So hopefully next time, if or when you ever experience a blackout in the future, smile and think of just how much it's helping the environment.. and maybe, just maybe, share this small but positive outlook and attitude of yours - and make the world a happier place.

Nouveau

2009-06-10T14:47:00.011+08:00

I've gotten a few new things lately!

Okay okay, so this blog is turning out to be some egotistical, self-absorbed, all-about-me, writing-about-useless-information-regarding-my-unimportant-life kind of blog, but I guess i'm really getting into this blogging thing where I can write simply about anything. But I shall be getting straight to the EAT, PRAY, LOVE mantra soon. But anyway, my list of new changes:

* Hairstyle. - I am now hidden behind a fringe and extra layers. (: I got it done in The Curve, across this place called Bluunis where my mom had an appointment for her eyebrows. =/ The place wasn't that bad, except the woman who did my hair seemed a bit PMS-y. But in the end she was all nice after I paid hahaha oh businesses...

Here we are at Tony Roma's (YUMM look out for a new post about this restaurant!) I'm also wearing my new dress but you can't see it properly heh oh well. (:

* Bikini. - My mom spoiled me with this one, it's for my trip to CLUBMED PHUKET. YES YES YES i'm finally going on a trip! And I thought that this whole summer vacation i'd be stuck here in good ol' KL... except i'm actually going to Thailand so i'm pretty excited. So what if it's only four days-three nights. It's clubmed! It's a different country! It's better than nothing.

* Dress. - Forever 21! Need I say more? I fell in love with it when I went shopping with my girlfriends. (: It's white, brown, and black. Basically, it's perfect because you can dress it down or up. Style it with awesome jewellery, heels, and a cute clutch bag for a night in town or make it casual by putting it over a bikini with flip flops, sunglasses, and a day sack. It's perfect.

* Fascination for Angels & Demons. - It started when I saw the trailer for its release. I haven't watched the movie, but i'm currently halfway through the book. I read it a few years back, along with The Da Vinci Code and Digital Fortress. You can really tell through his books that Brown is a highly intellect person, and his books aren't that bad actually. Though my english teacher Mr. Craig thinks differently. :P

* Stupid interest in this series called TrueBlood. - Yeah, it's all about vampires and such. Go figure. I'm not usually into shows and series-es, [And no, I don't watch gossip girl or 90210 etc.] but this one, I must admit, has caught my attention. It's based on the books by Charlaine Harris. I haven't read them yet, but the episodes aren't toooo bad. Here's the link to watching the episodes for free online. (Uh oh is this some copyright infringement? Will I be held before the law? Oh well.) http://www.watchtrueblood.net/ Be sure to use Flash instead of the other options, since they don't seem to work. =/

* I finally started reading 'Eat, Pray, Love' by Elizabeth Gilbert. I'm waiting for my sister to bring it from Perth (YES SHE'S COMING BACK FROM PERTH FOR A MONTH. I'm so excited since I get to have a sister again.) and then when i've finally finished reading the book I can really be inspired and get this blog started! My sister's mantra is also 'eat, pray, love'. She's a wonderful person and I can't wait to blog about her in our family trips and for her birthday coming up...

* A new favourite fruit added - lychees. So now that's mangoes, mangosteens, and lychees. (: HAHAHA I just want to share that Kristi thought mangosteens were a smaller version of mangoes, and that when I finally let her see and try what mangosteens are like, she was surely surprised and kept asking why they don't look or taste like mangoes. I replied by saying, just because the names are a bit similar, it doesn't mean they're the same. Kind of like if Kristi was simply a smaller version of a girl named Kristine. It doesn't work that way my dear. [KJ you're way too cute and funny for this world.]

* Pressure from my parents and friends on a certain subject matter - M and my relationship with him. Sigh. Will this never end? What happened was that well, we became a couple again, but on Friday I had to break it off... I thought I was strong but, we honestly do love each other. Yes we're young but we love each other the best we can. And I had to end it because, I don't usually do this sort of thing but I had to because of PRESSURE FROM MY PARENTS. They've been talking to me and pushing me to break it up, and so have my friends. I guess I just finally listened. I know I deserve better, and I know he deserves someone who won't make him upset and all that too. But I wish they would just know how much we really cared about each other, and that it's impossible for us to not be in each other's lives.

* Helping my mom with Facebook. - Hahaha yes! My parents have facebook! And they tried to add me but I ignored. Sorry. It's just too strange, wouldn't you agree, if your parents could see all your wall posts or photos, or even see your friends' profiles, too? So to compensate for my guilty ignorance, i've just helped me momee with some facebook tips and what to do, what this button does, etc. She's so cute cause it takes her 5 minutes to write a wall post consisting of two sentences. She really takes her time with typing and what to say hehe I love you momee. <3

Well I think that's enough vanity and self-obsession. (:

Just thought i'd share the latest with you all, who are somehow interested in my life. Haha. (: I'll be posting more soon. Until then, enjoy your summer!

Nose Bleeds (Epistaxis)

2009-06-09T00:28:00.004+08:00

Question:
Have you ever wondered why you get nosebleeds?
As in, how do they come about or why they happen at different times?

Well, sad little me decided to find out one day and I researched about it. I've been getting them pretty recently, every few days or so, and although I had already found out why exactly noses bleed, I forgot the proper answer. But hey, I actually think i'm not THAT sad, right? It's little curiosities like these that make you learn... When you're curious, ask questions, or make mistakes - you learn. And plus, whenever someone asks me about just why nose bleeds occur, (which has happened to me before, I promise!) I can dish out my nifty answer lodged in my brain and give them the answer. Satisfaction with answering the question or what!

Answer:
(Taken from http://www.medicinenet.com/nosebleed/article.htm by John P. Cunha, DO)

Why do people get nosebleeds?

The nose is a part of the body rich in blood vessels (vascular) and is situated in a vulnerable position as it protrudes on the face. As a result, trauma to the face can cause nasal injury and bleeding. The bleeding may be profuse, or simply a minor complication. Nosebleeds can occur spontaneously when the nasal membranes dry out and crack. This is common in dry climates, or during the winter months when the air is dry and warm from household heaters. People are more susceptible to bleeding if they are taking medications which prevent normal blood clotting [warfarin (Coumadin), aspirin, or any anti-inflammatory medication]. In this situation, even a minor trauma could result in significant bleeding.

The incidence of nosebleeds is higher during the colder winter months when upper respiratory infections are more frequent, and the temperature and humidity fluctuate more dramatically. In addition, changes from a bitter cold outside environment to a warm, dry, heated home results in drying and changes in the nose which will make it more susceptible to bleeding. Nosebleeds also occur in hot dry climates with low humidity, or when there is a change in the seasons.

The following factors predispose people to nosebleeds:

•Infection
•Trauma, including self-induced by nose picking
•Allergic and non-allergic rhinitis
•Hypertension (high blood pressure)
•Use of blood thinning medications
•Alcohol abuse
•Less common causes include tumors and inherited bleeding problems

But of course I won't just leave you as to why this happens, but also the how to stop the nose bleed part. (: Because the world would be a much better place if there were less nose bleeds!

1. Pinch all the soft parts of the nose together between your thumb and index finger.

2. Press firmly toward the face - compressing the pinched parts of the nose against the bones of the face.

3. Lean forward slightly with the head tilted forward. Leaning back or tilting the head back allows the blood to run back into your sinuses and throat and can cause gagging or inhaling the blood. Eeegh that's pretty scary!

4. Hold the nose for at least five minutes. Repeat as necessary until the nose has stopped bleeding.

5. Sit quietly, keeping the head higher than the level of the heart. Do not lay flat or put your head between your legs. Why would one put their head between their legs anyway? =/

6. Apply ice (wrapped in a towel) to nose and cheeks. And get a nice, soothing, skin-tightening as well!

Dang - all that to stop your nose from oozing red snot. I hope this helps though! It's summer time and because we're also in the tropics it's hot hot hot. So try not to break your nasal membranes too much, okay? (;

Mango Days, Hectic Sleepovers, and Quixotic Nights

2009-06-06T23:52:00.014+08:00

So, quite a lot has happened since I last posted!*

And so, as a part of my goal for this summer [and hopefully the rest of my life, but that's just wishful thinking] of being more organised. (They say organisation is the key to success and so I may as well try and follow that right? No harm in trying, right?) I shall make a list of preeeety important events that have highlighted the start of my wonderful 09 summer.

Summer Experiences to Date

1. A whole day consisting of mangoes in each and every meal.

2. Playing Badminton & Pool - and getting my butt kicked. Not that I was really trying, anyway... Oh and Mark wanted me to say that he holds his poo in for me as a declaration of love. (:

3. Crashing a drunken sophomore-junior party with my junior-senior friends. It wasn't my idea though but it was pretty fun! Fortunately for me, I don't drink so I get to experience all of these poor out-of-control people's types of drunkness and crazy under-the-influence acts. This led me to be...

4. Taking care of these drunk souls (especially KJ's hahaha!) and documenting it for future references. :P

5. Falling asleep at unexpected places with unexpected friends. Sounds a bit dodgy yes but not to worry. (:

6. Being [uncomfortably] chatted-up by a 30+ year old man who asked for my e-mail address (which of course I didn't give) and a 'nice chat downstairs over coffee'. I don't need to go further about how... wrong that was. =/

To Explain?

1. It just happened to be that M and I went to Mango Mania, this cute little yellow restaurant near Bangsar Village. Basically, everything on the menu had to do with mangoes. We ate this mango chicken thing =/ and then this really cute frozen yogurt. Not too bad actually, was quite good and sweet. But the strange thing was that later for dinner my mom served this really delicious salad that had mango pieces in them too. And then I realised that earlier during the day, I had a mango for part of my breakfast... It certainly was a mango day. (:

2. I played Badminton! Finally, some sports for the summer - and at least some sort of training for when I join the badminton team next school year. I lost though, all three sets that we played HAHAHA except I wasn't trying that hard okay?! And i upped his points, I gave a lot of points to him during the third set. So the games were corrupted and improper. Hmph. I also played pool, with my girlfriends (mainly Jan and Nella cause Rick and Kristi aren't that great at pool :P) at Breakers and with M at the One Utama pool/foosball/bowling/arcade/movie area. I played well with the girls but lost against M. Not my fault though! He's had a pool table at his house for three years!

3. During the sleepover, they had this idea to crash Phoebe's birthday party at Tropicana. Alright so it wasn't really crashing since Novia invited Rick and us, but I still felt pretty bad. Ah well, they were all so nice, and we still ended up having a great time. The unfortunate thing was that most people drank wayyy too much, and well some people are depressed drunks so that brought the mood down. ): But for the most part it was good and we were all safe. The sober ones took care of them. (:

4. OH MY GOODNESS KRISTI YOU BETTER NOT DRINK NEXT TIME. Because you really are so annoying when you've drunk too much haha i'm saying this because I care for you sweety. Okay? It wasn't just you though, other people (eh hem rick with his bottle haha and jan+carl being so sweet together) got a bit tipsy too but they're not as dependent as you. Sorry to say. :P

5. Haha I won't delve into that. But it sure was quite quixotic. <-- Search it up if you don't know what it means.

6. Ah yes, sigh. What happened was that I went to Gloria Jean's Coffees (right near my house - and ooh, where i'll be working this summer so be sure to drop by!) Open Mic Nights every Wednesday Night (Yes drop by! It's a night where people perform whatever they want - music, poetry, anything - in an open microphone. Anyone can sign up and some of the singers are really talented!) Anyway, back to the point... so quite a lot of people come to these open mic nights, and the night that I come, it so happens that this man (who, unfortunately, is a friend of one of the owners of that branch of Gloria Jean's Coffees and knows that I want to work there) was sitting near me and talked to me quite a bit. (No no i'm not one of those people who talk to strangers! It's just I couldn't avoid him since the place was packed and he actually is associated with one of the bosses of the place so he's not that much of a stranger. Sigh. And it wasn't me who was talking I was just answering the questions - believe me I didn't wanna talk to him but agh he kept talking to me.) And well, before he had to go he was talking about how next wednesday we should have a chat over coffee downstairs (Gloria Jean's Coffees has two floors) and he gave me his calling card and all, with the excuse of contacting him for a discount at the EDEN restaurants (bad excuse if you ask me) and then he asked for my email and all that. Of course, I didn't give it to him. The sad thing is that i'm going to work at Gloria Jean's, and probably go to the open mic nights again, and so I may actually see him again. Wish me luck on avoiding this weirdo. =/

So as you can see some of these experiences have been well, pretty good but quite disturbing too. But ah well, this summer has been soo great so far. I've been fulfilling what I mainly set out to do: hang out with friends + family and have a great time.

And tomorrow i've got plans to watch 17 again with my girlfriends and mabye Carl and M as well. Then I shall go bowling with them (hopefully!) and if not, just M, and hopefully kick his tush in it. Payback for him beating me in pool and badminton. (:

*pictures will be up whenever. (:

A Tribute to Friends

2009-06-02T21:04:00.005+08:00

SUMMER 2009
...finally. (:
The time is here for sunshine, late nights out, waking up in the afternoon, and doing just about anything you want.
It's quite unreal actually - this is probably the last official summer vacation for my high school. And the majority of it will be spent working or finishing up extended essays, world literature essays, CAS logging and reflections, and internal assessments. But let's scratch all that for now. (: For now, it's all about summer vacation. Relaxation, spending time with friends and family, travelling, experiencing new things... I mean, exams just ended for goodness sake!
Well, for some of us anyway. (Hahaha HISTORY DORKS. I pity you...)
):

But not to worry. Tomorrow's the last day. And then it'll be SUMMER SUMMER SUMMER. FREEDOM, BABEEEHHH!!!!
It's time for beaches, tans, adventures at 2 in the morning...
that high feeling of adrenaline, that taste for freedom...
That feeling of not having to worry about homework or exams (at least not that short-term worrying)
and just that absolute feeling of happiness.

Let's make this summer one of our best, guys. Regardless of the work we have to do - We know we'll have plenty of time to enjoy ourselves.

Kristi - i'm sorry you couldn't go to Japan. (Well now recently you just told me you might be going but agghhh confusing much ahaha.) But if you don't go I promise you that you'll have a lot of fun here in good ol' Malaysia, okay? Your best friends are here for you. (: We're going to have a blast - and yes, we'll take care of you when you *get drunk* get too high hehehe. Besides, a special indian will be here too eh? (: Much love sweety.

Onnella - YOUR BIRTHDAY THIS MONTH YO! We're going to have soo much fun. Ah - we better enjoy this one. 17 years old! Our little girl is growing up so fast... :O At least you're not going to sri lanka right..? Well that's good cause we don't have much time. We better hang out lots okay? Condo neighbours (:

Jan Jan! - (I made your colour black 'cause you're so emo hahaha) ahh don't worry about a certain someone leaving ): your friends are here for you. We love you, and just know we're here for you okay? This summer will still be awesome. <3>

Liyana, Denise, and any other awesome girlfriends of mine.. - you may be staying here or going pretty far away.. But I hope that we DO get to spend some time over the summer before our final senior year :O. Wherever you guys may go, however, please please be happy and have a blast. I want you to be happy!

Mark - Firstly, sorry for the bad picture; I just find it so funny (: And.. it's a pity that you're going to be so far away for most of the summer. But we did promise each other - sunshine, windy drives, beaches, resorts, and [hopefully!] just the time of our lives. This'll be a great one for us. Until then, enjoy germany and langkawi you lucky fool. Don't forget about me (;

Keshy - I absolutely can't wait for you to get back here. It's gonna be soo much fun agghhh we'll hang out okay? I still have to visit your [huggee and luxurious] house. (: We'll hang out and be all awesome and iris + nikesh again. And make fun of kristi :P

Rick - (hey i just realised it's your birthday this month too! must celebrate!) ahh, Rick, you'll be off scaling the mountains or something with the family (haha so adventurous) but be sure to spend some time with your girlyfriends okay! Not just noviiaa! We all promised, a great night of getting 'high' for us. [We gotta take care of kristijones especially eh heh heh.)

Here's to the start of an incredible summer.
I love you all. We'll make this one to remember.

Exams, Ex-Lovers, and All That Jazz...

2009-06-01T13:42:00.003+08:00

Happy 1st of the Month!
A pinch and a punch for the first of the month...

So the day started out with a frenzy of last-minute exam preparation, breakfast, and a kind old chinese taxi driver.
And the way it's heading now, I must say it's getting better and better. (:

Apart from the obvious, 3 down 2 more to go exam sort-of mantra... (Unfortunately I still have two exams left - which I should really be studying for now, but have decided to get this out of the way and then I will begin. Promise.) today's been pretty great.

Forgive me, my friends, who are against me having a relationship with that special someone again. But today, we talked about it even more...
WE HAD LUNCH TOGETHER TODAY.
(I'm sorry KRISTI AND ONNELLA)

Dear KJ and OH,
(and to other best friends who this may apply to JNL, DA, LI, MZL, RH, NM, SC, KYS, AZ, FW... anyone else who I might've missed - sorry)
I know it must be hard for you - I know you both just care about me sooo much, and you know that i've gotten hurt numerous times because of him, yes i've cried over him a lot, yes we argue plenty of times... But no, we never not cared about each other. No, he didn't really mean to end the relationship with me. And no, it's not that easy to forget about each other.

):

With that said, I really hope you don't get too mad at me when I reveal that M and I spent some of the day together, eating lunch and just talking... and that we still treat each other like we're together.
Basically, we're not JUST friends. I mean, technically we are since we're not in an official relationship, but I have to tell you guys that we have something more than that. And we may become a couple again.....?

.......DON'T HIT ME!!

I can just imagine your faces or emotions right now as you read this. And the above is basically what I'll be saying if I were next to you. Because I'll know you want to punch me.
But luckily, i'm far away.
And i'll take your evil glares tomorrow.
But for now, 'read' me out. (:
Hahaha get it?

So, my darling chicas, I just really want you to know this. I know you'll still be my friends no matter what, and you'll be there for me. No questions asked.
Wait, no, I have a question. Will you forgive me though?

Sigh. Don't worry sweeties. In time you'll learn to like him again (if he and I decide to be together again) and it'll be all aalllllrrrrrriight..
If not, I give you guys (Jan Nee, Kristi, Onnella) exclusive permission to beat him up.
And I shall help you. (;

I love you girls, with all my heart.
I know you'll be happy for me, if i'm happy, no matter what.

Love, Iris.

Happy 28th Anniversary!

2009-05-31T15:17:00.018+08:00

Happy Anniversary Momee and Papee!

Well, it was actually yesterday - May 30, 2009 - but today was the day we as a whole family celebrated it. (Haha yes, my parents had their 'own celebration' by staying at a really awesome resort...) (;

But today we celebrated their 28 years of marriage - and i'm so ridiculously happy for them.
I mean, TWENTY EIGHT YEARS. THAT'S A LONG TIME!

Their love is truly inspiring. I mean, they say that after that initial high of being overwhelmingly, ecstatically in love, that sort of 'euphoria' that comes with a new love, they say that it goes away after, perhaps two years? And so, according to Captain Corelli's Mandolin, (as well as probably millions of other people) love is really not just that initial euphoria, but the way you feel after that high and obsession has gone.
In other words, the reason that you remain together for so long is because of real, true, and undying love.

And with the case of my parents, that's exactly right.

But what's amazing is that they seem to still be in that euphoria and 'high-on-love' sort of stage. Their hands still find each other and hold on, they still look into each others eyes and smile, my mom will still cuddle up to my dad on the sofa...
Even after 28 years of marriage, and several more from dating.
I guess what I wanted to say was that you're both truly inspiring. And I couldn't have asked for better role models to show me what true love really is. You've both been through so much together, and I just know that both of you were truly meant to be together. (Otherwise, my siblings and I wouldn't have been born!) But not just that though. We really can see that love is present and real, and that it can last between two people.
No matter what, Mama and Papa, you're the hope and guiding star, enabling me to always believe that real love exists.

Thank you for that.

I love you both so much.

________________________________________

But, just how did we celebrate today?

By eating JAPANESE BUFFET!

Finally, I get to start an eating section in my 'Eat, Pray, Love' categories. (:

But yes that's right! My family and I, we're major japanese-food fanatics. Every weekend we'll eat either japanese or chinese cuisine per se, but it doesn't mean we don't have variety! We'll eat other cuisines like italian, vietnamese, korean, filipino (obviously) and just many others. You'll see.

But moving on - we ate at TENJI Japanese Buffet - a restaurant in Solaris, Mont'Kiara.

And it was soooo good - I'm pregnant with a food baby.

Here are some photos:

The sign outside the entrance. I love how they added, 'gourmet sensation'.

Pictures of the interior.

Quite nice actually - Tenji is known to have great ambiance.

My parents with my brother.

A close-up of their card.

An after-meal-shot. We're all full and satisfied. (:

Some pictures of the food.

I didn't take that many - sorry. I'll be taking plenty more when I put up more posts about other restaurants/gastronomical adventures.

Haagen Dazs' Strawberry Cheesecake Ice Cream is so delicious.

My brother and I took just one bite and immediately said, 'Oh. My. Gawd.'

Just a little bit of the sashimi + sushi they had to offer.

Coconut drinks (:

They had these really adorable ice-blended lemon juices/dragonfruit juices.

It was fun to take pictures of them...

So that ends the first of many more celebrations on my blog, as well as the first of many food-adoration posts.

It really was quite a good day!

It ALMOST made me forget about the terror that keeps looming over my head...

Exams.

Soul-Soothing Music

2009-05-30T13:18:00.001+08:00

Just listening to a little Maroon 5 for some soul soothing! (:
Thought I'd share the lyrics...
I'll be putting up some happier posts soon. I promise.

Nothing Lasts Forever

"It is so easy to see
Dysfunction between you and me
We must free up these tired souls
Before the sadness kills us both

I tried and tried to let you know
I love you but I'm letting go
It may not last but I don't know
Just don't know

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes it so hard to stay
But nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way

A bed that's warm with memories
Can heal us temporarily
The misbehaving only makes
The ditch between us so damn deep

Built a wall around my heart
I’ll never let it fall apart
But strangely I wish secretly
It would fall down while I'm asleep

If you don't know
Then you can't care
And you show up
But you're not there
But I'm waiting
And you want to
Still afraid that I will desert you, babe

Tough we have not hit the ground
It doesn't mean we're not still falling,
Oh I want so bad to pick you up
But you're still too reluctant to accept my help
What a shame, I hope you find somewhere to place the blame
But until then the fact remains

Everyday
With every worthless word we get more far away
The distance between us makes you so hard to stay
Nothing lasts forever, but be honest babe
It hurts but it may be the only way."

Captain Corelli's Mandolin

2009-05-29T22:59:00.000+08:00

Taken from Wikipedia: (ahh, good ol' wikipedia)

'Captain Corelli's Mandolin is a 1993 novel written by Louis de Bernieres, which takes place on the island of Kefalonia during the Italian and German occupation of World War II. The main characters are Antonio Corelli, an Italian captain, and Pelagia, the daughter of the local physician, Dr. Iannis.

"Captain Corelli's Mandolin" explores many varieties of love. We see the initial lust-based love betwen Pelagia and Mandras, which burns out as a result of the war, and the change it prompts in both of them. Corelli and Pelagia's slow-developing love is the central focus on the novel. Love is described by Dr. Iannis as 'What is left when the passion has gone', and it certainly appears that this criterion is fulfilled by the love of Corelli and Pelagia. The paternal love of Iannis for Pelagia is also strong and is heavily compared and contrasted to that of Corelli. '

I came upon this quote a few days ago, and was just absolutely stricken with it. The way Bernieres described love was in not only a simple and easy-to-relate-to manner, but also in a language that was both lyrical and beautiful.
This is definitely one of my favourite definitions of love.

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being 'in love' which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

Crave - The Play: A's Monologue.

2009-05-27T20:09:00.003+08:00

It all started when I was suggested to watch a youtube video, Reflections of a Skyline. Upon loading the video, I wasn't sure what to expect; an educational video on weather? Pictures from a landscape artist, perhaps?

Little did I know that this video would change my take on love forever.
I found it to be so honest, so captivating, so real...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V08Mt35MSis

It was, in fact, a video of these two actors performing a monologue from a play called Crave, written by Sarah Kane. I'll definitely be looking at some of her other plays!

Taken from the blog 'Left, Right and 'Centre', I found much better descriptions.
"Crave, the play by Sarah Kane, by Theatre Nisha, presents four characters, or perhaps four aspects of human nature all of which are singly, overwhelmingly traumatized by life. It reveals a litany of rape, infidelity, loneliness, familial rejection and childlessness. The characters are embittered and dismayed by an existence over which they have no control."

""Crave charts the disintegration of a human mind under the pressures of love, loss and desire." Sarah Kane on most occassions focused on plays that brought out human emotions when dealing with child abuse, rape, eating disorder and sexual identity."

Pretty deep stuff.

Alright, so I haven't seen the play in person myself - but I have seen a version of A's monologue (the characters in the play don't have names; simply A, B, C, and M) on the video Reflections of a Skyline on youtube. And yes, maybe in the actual play it's not supposed to come across as all lovey-dovey as it did in the video. But it really did change my take on love. Strangely, this unexpected little event in my life, changed the way I felt about being honest with feelings and expressions. It's like what's being said in the monologue is exactly what you want to tell someone you romantically care for when you're angry or so annoyingly in love with them.
It made me laugh, cry, feel horrible and yet strangely happy about my relationship; I wanted to shout at someone, yet hold them at the same time. I wanted to tell him about all his faults and how bad it hurt me, but at the same time pour my heart out in a brutally honest manner.
Like Meursault from 'The Outsider', written by Albert Camus expressed, ''I was pouring everything out at him from the bottom of my heart in a paroxysm of joy and anger.''

It didn't take me long to feverishly search up the script and learn about the play.

But finally, here's the monologue:

And I want to play hide-and-seek and give you my clothes and tell you I like your shoes and sit on the steps while you take a bath and massage your neck and kiss your feet and hold your hand and go for a meal and not mind when you eat my food and meet you at Rudy's and talk about the day and type your letters and carry your boxes and laugh at your paranoia and give you tapes you don't listen to and watch great films and watch terrible films and complain about the radio and take pictures of you when you're sleeping and get up to fetch you coffee and bagels and Danish and go to Florent and drink coffee at midnight and have you steal my cigarettes and never be able to find a match and tell you about the the programme I saw the night before and take you to the eye hospital and not laugh at your jokes and want you in the morning but let you sleep for a while and kiss your back and stroke your skin and tell you how much I love your hair your eyes your lips your neck your breasts your arse your... and sit on the steps smoking till your neighbour comes home and sit on the steps smoking till you come home and worry when you're late and be amazed when you're early and give you sunflowers and go to your party and dance till I'm black and be sorry when I'm wrong and happy when you forgive me and look at your photos and wish I'd known you forever and hear your voice in my ear and feel your skin on my skin and get scared when you're angry and your eye has gone red and the other eye blue and your hair to the left and your face oriental and tell you you're gorgeous and hug you when you're anxious and hold you when you hurt and want you when I smell you and offend you when I touch you and whimper when I'm next to you and whimper when I'm not and dribble on your breast and smother you in the night and get cold when you take the blanket and hot when you don't and melt when you smile and dissolve when you laugh and not understand why you think I'm rejecting you when I'm not rejecting you and wonder how you could think I'd ever reject you and wonder who you are but accept you anyway and tell you about the tree angel enchanted forest boy who flew across the ocean because he loved you and write poems for you and wonder why you don't believe me and have a feeling so deep I can't find words for it and want to buy you a kitten I'd get jealous of because it would get more attention than me and keep you in bed when you have to go and cry like a baby when you finally do and get rid of the roaches and buy you presents you don't want and take them away again and ask you to marry me and you say no again but keep on asking because though you think I don't mean it I do always have from the first time I asked you and wander the city thinking it's empty without you and want what you want and think I'm losing myself but know I'm safe with you and tell you the worst of me and try to give you the best of me because you don't deserve any less and answer your questions when I'd rather not and tell you the truth when I really dont' want to and try to be honest because I know you prefer it and think it's all over but hang on in for just ten more minutes before you throw me out of your life and forget who I am and try to get closer to you because it's a beautiful learning to know you and well worth the effort and speak German to you badly and Hebrew to you worse and make love with you at three in the morning and somehow somehow somehow communicate some of the overwhelming undying overpowering unconditional all-encompassing heart-enriching mind-expanding on-going never-ending love I have for you.

The First Post

2009-05-27T18:47:00.001+08:00

I suppose i'll just get right to the point.
What's the purpose of this blog? I'm just one of billions of people crowding the world...

It's not that i'm trying to be famous, popular, or the show-offy kind. And it's not as if I have impressive writing skills or an amazing life with numerous stories to tell. I simply have an honest voice and a knack for sharing some personal discoveries i've found.

I started this blog for several reasons:
1. To share my findings, experiences, or just some pretty great stuff with the world. <3
2. To write anonymous letters to my best friends, parents, boyfriend, not-so-close friends, loved ones, random strangers...

3. For finding out why blogging [and talking about yourself] is so addicting. No honestly, why are humans so egoistic sometimes?
4. To improve my writing skills? To find meaning embedded within me? Hahaha! Maybe, sure. I can try, right?
5. To be proud of something that's my own on the world wide web. Just a Facebook profile no more!
6. And why not - for entertainment purposes too. (:

Either way, I hope this is the beginning of something great.

“Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find 'tomorrow' on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday's defeats and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, 'If I had my life to live over again...' Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day! Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.” - Og Mandino.